Amber's Story
by BlackCat46
Summary: A request from SibunaMockingjay (Guest reviewer) who asked for this on my One Shots story. Amber's having a few problems and Trudy notices and wants to help. This is rated a strong T for the content, full warning inside. Otherwise, enjoy. (Now a story. AU, and a bit OOC) Epilogue and SEQUEL (Rosalee) now up. *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

(I own only plot.)

A/N: This is a story requested by SibunaMockingjay from my House Of More One-Shots, but since I haven't uploaded anything new in a while and this seems like a prompt that could go a long way, I decided it could be a stand-alone. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.

**Trigger warning: Self-harm, attempts at suicide, some eating disorders. This is T for a reason.**

_(Nobody cares about me. I have tried everything. I did my best, but nobody cares. I can't do this much longer.) _It was three o'clock in the morning. Amber Millington was curled up on her bright pink duvet, shaking with silent tears. The room was empty, apart from her. Her best friend was staying with Fabian that night. Alfie and Jerome were having a movie night with Mara. Joy and Patricia were hanging out in their room with Eddie and Mick, who had returned to see Mara. Victor was out for the night and Trudy was asleep. Only Amber was alone. She missed her friends, not that they cared any more. They were all off in their own little worlds. But she wasn't a part of these. Amber felt the tears start again and she cried herself to sleep, hearing Joy laugh and say "No, you have to," giggling as Patricia groaned.

The sun woke her just a few hours later, almost blinding her. She got up and went to get ready for the day, smelling the bacon Trudy had only just fried and Amber wanted to rush down and eat it all. She composed herself long enough to take a shower and wax her legs. As she ripped off the wax strip, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. She contemplated her reflection before she noticed her calf muscle. She critically glared at her reflection, picking out little bits of her weight. She weighed herself and it read the same nine stones, three ounces. _(I'm fat. I'm ugly. No wonder nobody likes me.) _Amber hurriedly dressed, a pair of blue jeans and a pink T-shirt with black flats, her blonde curls in her towel. It took her ten minutes to dry and comb her hair out, then put in her headband. She looked at her diary and saw JUST SMILE blast out in bright colours at her. She walked downstairs and smelled the heavenly breakfast that Trudy had set out and heard her friends chattering away. She remembered what the scales had said and sighed, thinking of the nine stones, three ounces. "Focus, Millington!" Amber chanted under her breath, all set to walk out.

Just as her hand touched the doorknob, a sweet voice called out behind her "Amber? Love, why are you setting off so early? Aren't you having breakfast?"

Amber turned to face her. "Uh, not now, Trudy, I need to get to school quickly, Ms York needs to talk about my part in the play."

"Play?" Trudy asked, looking intrigued. "Sounds good, what's it about?"

"Um, it's a surprise. We'll let you know when we get the okay." Amber smiled, lying through her teeth. She always managed to feel bad when she lied to Trudy. She never felt bad about lying to Victor or her friends, but lying to Trudy was like lying to her mother. "I really have to run now! Bye, Trudy!"

"Wait, love, don't you want a-" **SLAM!** "- snack to keep you going? Oh, well. She'll be fine until lunch, I hope." Trudy muttered the last bit to herself, worried for Amber. It wasn't like her to skip breakfast.

* * *

"Amber, why weren't you at breakfast or lunch today?" Nina questioned her best friend quietly during their math class.

"I was busy with last week's homework." Amber lied smoothly, applying lip gloss in her beauty mirror that she'd disguised in her work folder.

Nina clearly didn't believe her because Amber never did her homework, but just as she was about to say so, their teacher spoke up. "Nina Martin, Amber Millington, is my teaching getting in the way of your stimulating conversation?"

Both girls replied "No, sir."

At the end of class, their teacher called "Ms Millington, a word, please." Amber walked over with her usual air of confidence and smiled.

She gave him a graceful flick of blonde hair and asked in her sugary tone "Yes, sir?"

"Your test results are abysmal. What happened? You used to be good at math."

It was true. Amber had once had a very high score in math. She never told anyone because she didn't want to be called a nerd. "I don't know. I guess it was just a few late nights and too early mornings." She told him, dropping her voice so that nobody could overhear.

"Well, you need to start getting some rest and get yourself back on track, because this will be counting toward your final exams. You can go now."

_(You're a failure, Amber. You can't even do math now. You're a wreck. Nobody will ever employ you. You'll never get into a college. Your dad's going to think you're a disgrace. You're useless. Why don't you just die? Nobody will miss you. Nobody even likes you. Stupid, airheaded, lonely, boring Amber.)_

* * *

"Where's Amber tonight?" Trudy asked, looking around for the familiar blonde with concern. "Nina?"

The American girl looked up from her conversation with Fabian and said "She said she'd had something from the vending machine in school and that she really has to catch up because she's failing math."

"Did she have lunch?" Trudy questioned, putting the signs together and fearing the worst.

"I guess? She must have brought a sandwich or bought something somewhere, because she didn't come to lunch." Nina told the housemother, before returning to her conversation and her meal.

Trudy wasn't pleased that Amber had stopped turning up for meals, but decided not to question it if Amber was actually eating. Meanwhile, the blonde was sat in the bathroom, her razor broken beside her, the blade in her hand dripping red with her blood. Her arm was bleeding, her blood all over her clothes, the floor. She was shaking, feeling sick from the hunger she was experiencing, the blood loss, the lack of sleep. She caught sight of herself in the mirror. _(Fat, stupid, ridiculous. Like anyone would care if you dropped down dead.) _She pressed the razor blade into her pale, blood-stained arm again.

* * *

It'd been a week and Amber was running on water. She told her friends that she'd eaten a big breakfast and had food from the snack machines for later if she got hungry and told Trudy that she'd had a big lunch and got herself some cereal before she'd got downstairs. She weighed herself one morning. Nine stones exactly. She'd lost three ounces, which she wasn't pleased with. She wanted to reach six stones and she believed she could. She walked to the front door when a usually soft voice reached her ears with a sharp "Don't you even touch that door, Amber Millington!"

Amber turned to face the one person in the whole school who had her best interests at heart. "Trudy, look, I love you, but I really have to go, I have early morning math tutoring."

"Oh, really? That's funny, because normally, I get told if one of my students is being tutored before school so that they're well-fed for the day." Trudy told her, her arms folded and her face showing that Amber wasn't getting out of there any time soon.

"I know. I asked Mr Matthews to keep it a secret, because I don't want people thinking I'm stupid." Amber lied again, hating the guilt that tugged at her, feeling like she was betraying Trudy's trust.

Trudy's firm stance and the subtle anger she'd felt at Amber melted away as her words hit. The older woman reached out to hug the blonde and said "You could have trusted me, love. I don't think you're stupid at all." Seconds later, she added "Are you sure you're okay, lovie?"

Amber wanted to break down and cry and confess everything to Trudy, but instead, she straightened up and smiled at her warmly. "Yeah, thanks, Trudes. I'll let you know next time. I really do need to go, because Mr Matthews will want my tutoring session out of the way."

Trudy watched Amber leave and muttered "I know you're not okay, Amber. And I will find out what's wrong."

* * *

That night was much the same as it had been for a week. Trudy went to Amber's room with a tray of food and drink for her, hoping she'd be alright. She knocked lightly. "Amber, honey?" She got no reply and walked in, finding the bedroom empty. She placed the tray on the bed and tapped on the bathroom door. "Amber, lovie, are you in there?"

"Yeah, sorry, be out in five." Amber called to the now-terrified housekeeper. Quickly and quietly, Amber scrubbed the blood off the floor and hid her bloodstained clothes in the hole, putting on a bandage and a spare outfit, hiding her wounds from the entire world. She unlocked the door and smiled at Trudy. "Hi. Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Trudy shook her head and said "I'm fine, love. Now, come in here." She led Amber into the one room she was never allowed into. Trudy pointed at her bed and said "Sit there, don't move."

Amber sat down on Trudy's bed while Trudy left to get something. She looked around and saw creamy walls, a dark brown hardwood floor with a thick cream rug, one picture of a couple Amber assumed were her parents on the bedside table and glossy curtains over the window. The bedspread was a chocolate brown with light cocoa coloured pillows and a neatly placed book on the duvet. When Trudy returned, she didn't let Amber see the tray, just closed the door. Amber said "Trudy, your room is beautiful."

"Thank you, sweetheart." Trudy sat down and put the tray in Amber's lap, then said "Eat that, then I want you to talk."

Amber said "Trudy, as delicious as this looks, I've had a massive lunch and I'm really not that hungry."

Trudy said "Amber, my lovely, you've not touched a bite of food all week and I'm worried about you. Please, for my peace of mind, love, just eat something."

Amber felt guilty about ever scaring Trudy. That was another thing that Amber didn't want right then: Trudy to love her as much as she did. "Trudy, please, I'm full to bursting." Amber begged, wanting to ease Trudy away from it.

"No, Amber. I know you're not. You can't lie to me, I've seen kids starve themselves. Some of them have died from it. I don't want that to be you. Please, Amber, just eat it." Trudy was almost begging now and Amber hated it.

Amber just placed the tray on Trudy's lap. "I'm not hungry. But thank you." She left before Trudy could say anything. It was just a shame that Amber missed the tear that dripped down Trudy's cheek as she looked at the food that could have kept Amber healthy.

* * *

That Saturday, everyone was out. Apart from Amber and Trudy. Amber believed that she was alone. She sat on the floor of her bedroom, wearing her stained clothes and holding a carving knife. She cut a vertical line from the heel of her hand to the crook of her elbow, cutting right through her still unhealed cuts all over her arm. "Why should I live? Nobody loves me anyway." She spoke out loud, tears pouring unchecked down her cheeks. She poised the knife for a final, deep cut and said "Goodbye to the world that didn't need me anyway."

Trudy had heard her from Mara, Joy and Patricia's room and she ran in, just in time to shock Amber out of it. "Amber!"

"Trudy?" Amber asked, her voice a broken whisper, choked with tears and unexpressed pain.

"Amber..." Trudy breathed, horrified and hurt by the sight of all the blood and the cuts and the tears pouring down Amber's cheeks. "Oh, my lovely, why did you do this?"

"Because nobody needs me now. Nobody wants me. Nobody loves me. I hate this world. I want to die. I want out. There's no point to my life because I'm nothing if I don't mean anything." Amber choked out, not wanting to talk to Trudy at all.

Her heart breaking to see Amber, the girl who was always so bright and bouncy and happy, bleeding and crying and wishing herself dead on the floor, Trudy went to sit next to her and held her close. "And what if I told you that you're needed and loved and wanted?"

"I'd say you were lying so that it doesn't look bad. But it wouldn't, because nobody actually likes me. They like my clothes, my money. That's it." Amber told her, longing to leave the world and everyone in it, believing it was for the best.

"That's not true. I don't like you for clothes or money. I love you because you're you. You're special, Amber. Nobody could ever cheer someone up like you do. Nobody can ever be such a wonderful friend. And look at all those beautiful scrapbooks you made as gifts for your friends. Look at how good you are at designing. And what about just three weeks ago, when Eddie and Patricia had that row? You talked to them both, you brought them around to seeing how to fix it. And you were the one who got Fabian and Nina together in the first place."

"They would have done it themselves. And nobody likes those scrapbooks. My designs are useless because when I try to make them, they look awful. And I don't cheer anyone up, that's you and Alfie. I'm not special."

Trudy held her more tightly. "You're special to me. I love your scrapbooks, Nina showed me the one you made of you and her and all the best times you've had together. And I've seen your attempts at that dress. It looks lovely and you know it does. Listen, darling, even though you think nobody wants you, there is always someone who loves you and needs you. I love you, Amber. If anything took you away from me, it'd be the worst thing ever. You're like my little girl and I don't want to lose you."

Amber sobbed and turned slightly to bury her face on Trudy's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Trudy. You're incredible to me and I don't deserve you. Please can you try to see how bad this is for me?"

"I know. It's awful, my lovely. But please try to see the bigger picture. You have a long life ahead of you and you can't throw that away. Please, darling. If it makes you feel better, I'll bring you downstairs now and get you something to eat."

Amber gave Trudy the knife and let her lead her downstairs. _(Trudy loves me. It's not all bad. If she loves me, then it could be bearable.)_

* * *

And this is the first chapter. SibunaMockingjay, I hope you enjoyed this. And if anyone wants more of this story, let me know in the reviews. Until next time, hugs! C. xx


	2. Chapter 2

(I own only plot.)

A/N:Well, since this was good fun to write, here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.

**Trigger warning: Self-harm, attempts at suicide, some eating disorders. This is T for a reason.**

Amber woke to memories of the previous day and the strong smell of the breakfast she loved. Trudy had obviously gone out of her way to make Amber her favourite that day, to make her feel better. _(Poor Trudy. She thinks that it's going to help. She may say that she loves you, but you're useless and she's lying through her teeth to make you think that she likes you. You're just a dumb blonde and nobody really wants you.) _She went to the bathroom and rewaxed her legs, feling her cuts tear open again. "Ow." She muttered, inwardly cursing herself for forgetting them. She hurried to get dressed, her skirt longer than it usually was for her, her tights twice as thick and she left her hair alone. Her shirt had much longer sleeves and her blazer was loose and strong. She rushed out of the house and to school, feeling bad for Trudy because of all the effort she'd put in to making something special just for her.

"Amber?" A male voice asked from behind.

"Not now, Jerome. I really have to get to class." Amber told him, not even turning around.

"Trudy wants you. She's called the school, said that you won't be in today. She told me to find you and send you back."

Amber moaned quietly. "Look, Jerome, I appreciate that she needs me, but I have tutoring in the mornings and she knows that and whatever it is that she wants from me can wait until after school. I love her, but school is more important than her having a go at me for not turning up to breakfast when I have to go. And if you could tell her that I have cheerleading and dance tonight, that'd be great. I might not be home for supper."

Jerome picked her up, bridal style, then carried her back to Anubis while she protested. "Trudykins, I have your blonde target. Where should I put her?"

"In here, Jerome, love, thank you." Trudy's warm voice called out, sending a pang through Amber. When Jerome had left the house, Trudy looked away from the cleaning she was doing and she faced the blonde, who was sitting on the island in the kitchen, looking worried. "Right. Out with it."

The cold tone and firm stare scared Amber slightly. It reminded her of her father, who had turned icily cold toward his daughter since her mother died. She swallowed and asked "What?"

"Don't 'what' me, madam, I know more than you think. You're starving yourself and I found those awful weight controlling pills and that nasty gym equipment in your room. I saw that bloodstain in the bathroom, I saw your cuts, the knife that's crusted with your blood. Tell me what's going on." Trudy's usually warm and loving voice was as icy and as hard as Mr Millington's and Amber was used to the warmth and love from Trudy, who never seemed to be cold and mean.

"I don't want to. It's okay. I'm okay. Please, Trudy." Amber looked scared, afraid that Trudy would hurt her. When she took a step closer, Amber squeaked and sobbed "Please don't hurt me!"

Trudy gasped. She'd never hurt any of her students, treating them like they were her own children. "Why would I hurt you, my lovely?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Amber sobbed, before shooting up and running away.

"Oh, Amber!" Trudy called, following her. Amber reached the rail at the top of the stairs just as Trudy got just below it and she climbed over. "No, Amber, don't you dare!"

Amber softly said "I don't want to hurt anyone any more."

She let go and let herself fall. _(I'll never hurt her, Nina, Fabian or anyone else again.)_ The last thing she heard as she dropped was Trudy's scream of "Amber" before she landed on something hard.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was what you were expecting. And if anyone wants more of this story, let me know. To PurpleDucks5, nine stones is how British people measure their body weight. Just to let you know. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	3. Chapter 3

(I own only plot.)

A/N:Well, since I have some more free time (you lucky things), here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Self-harm, attempts at suicide, some eating disorders. This is T for a reason.**

Beeeeep. Beeeeeep. The steady, monotone beeping was the first thing Amber heard as she managed to open her eyes. It was weird, because she didn't remember how she'd even got into this sterile white place. A quiet voice said "You should be lay down, she landed pretty hard on you."

"I don't care, I can function. Amber can't. Doctor, do you know what's wrong with her?" A softer, more familiar voice brought Amber back to her senses.

"She's been starving herself, cutting herself and she clearly has psychological issues." The quiet voice replied distractedly, not even giving the softer one half of the attention he was directing somewhere else.

"Oh, for the love of the Lord above, I could have told you that! I live with the girl! I meant, is she injured? Will she need a cast? Is she going to be okay?" The softer voice had sharpened now and Amber began to recognise it. _(It's Trudy, she's here, she's okay! But wait, if she's here and she's not crying or thinking I'm dead... Then I think I must have lived! Oh, way to go, Amber, you can't even kill yourself without surviving it! You need to do it when that kind hearted angel/demon/thing isn't around.)_

"Yes, Ms Millington will be okay. She'll come around properly soon, but try not to-"

"To interrogate her, yes, yes, I know. I do know how to deal with injured teenagers, Doctor, I'm not a total idiot." The maternal housekeeper cut the doctor off irritably.

He laughed lightly and said "Well, since you're so capable, I'll leave her with you. And if you're free any time after nine tonight...?"

Trudy made a noise in her throat, then said "I'll think about it." Amber's doctor left, chuckling. Trudy gave a soft noise of disgust. "What a know-it-all! He shouldn't be talking to me like that unless he was Hermione Granger, the no-good little smart mouth. Who does he think he is, completely ignoring what I'm asking, then telling me the stuff I told all of his colleagues who had the nerve to ask!" Trudy's furious muttering was interrupted by the doctor.

"Ms Rehman, there's a group of eight children here to see Miss Millington. They claim to be in her house."

"They are. Send them in." Trudy ordered, letting her other students see the injured blonde. Nina was in tears and she pounced on Trudy, sobbing. The kind woman rubbed her back and said "Oh, lovie, what's wrong?"

"How come nobody else knew she was hurting herself? I thought she had extra curriculars!" Nina wailed into Trudy's shoulder. "Trudy, I'm such a useless friend!"

"Hey, now, less of that. You're not a useless friend, love, you're a fantastic friend. You just had no excuse not to believe what she said. It's okay to believe people. It shows that you trust them." Trudy tried to comfort Nina.

Fabian said "She's right, Trudy. We were terrible friends to her. We were all too busy in our own lives to pay any attention to her and we made her feel rejected."

"Yes, but you can have lives with other people, too. You don't know that it was you kids who upset her like this. It could be her home life, it could be something that happened in her life that's affecting her now, something could have happened to her. We don't know these things, kids. Don't blame yourselves until we know whether or not it's anything to do with us."

Mara said "But Trudy, you're the only one who gives her the time of day when we're all off doing our own things. We can't just assume that we haven't hurt her, at least in part."

Jerome added "We're not entirely sensitive. I mean, she tried to be in there with everyone, cracking jokes and saying stupid random things and all we'd do is call her a ditzy blonde and tell her to grow a brain cell."

Eddie said "We weren't entirely the best of friends to her. Just the other day, Jerry, Alfie and I replaced her coconut conditioner with whipped cream and her face cream with foot scrub."

Patricia laughed, despite the seriousness of the situation. "And what about that time we dyed her hair grey while she slept?" She sputtered, trying to hold in her laughter.

Joy added "I accidentally shredded that pretty pink faux snakeskin skirt she lent me and told her it had been stolen."

Alfie whispered "What about the cockroaches I put in her bed and that dead bird I found that I put in her robe?"

Trudy said "Okay, first of all, stop doing awful things to each other, you are going to get each other killed. Secondly, even though you all have had lives outside of your friendship with her, you can't blame yourselves until we know more about what's actually going on. Thirdly, Eddie, Jerome, Alfie, Patricia, you all have detention for a week. Fourth, Joy, you need to buy her a new skirt. Fifth, you need to look after yourselves as well as her. Listen, when she gets out of here, you're to be nice to her. Not overly nice, she'll think it's pity. Be her friends again and don't take her for granted. She took you all for granted and look at this. Be good, my lovelies, I have to get a drink."

As soon as she left, the others crowded around Amber, nobody taking the spot that was occupied by the housekeeper, knowing she'd be five minutes getting a drink. Nina whispered "Amber, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me most. You're my BBFF."

Fabian hugged his girlfriend and said "You're awesome, Amber. And you'll always have us."

The sentiments flowed and overlapped to her. Amber lay half conscious, hearing her friends saying nice things until Patricia asked, quite loudly and harshly "Do you reckon that Sweetie, Victor and Trudy will have her put in a mental home?"

Mara said "You shouldn't say that, Patricia! She could hear you!"

"She's unconscious, Mara, she can't hear us! But seriously, what do you think?" Patricia asked of the group.

A collective "Yes, definitely, they will" went around and filled Amber's head.

_(They're going to get me locked up.)_

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was what you were expecting. And if anyone wants more of this story, let me know. I can't promise every day updates, but at least twice to four times a week will be the least I can promise. Some times will give almost daily, though, so keep your eyes peeled. I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	4. Chapter 4

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, since I have some more of my weird imagination pouring out of my fingers, into my keyboard, going through some techie things in a computer and onto the internet and my screen, here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Self-harm. This is T for a reason.**

Amber had been in the hospital for nine long days and finally managed to open her eyes and put Trudy out of her misery. She sighed as she opened her eyes properly and saw the same sterile white room. She groaned and Trudy perked up, having been slumped in the chair next to the bed, half asleep for the past two days, living on black coffee and cereal bars. She looked awful and that wasn't what Amber wanted at all. As she tried to sit up, there was a warm hand on her shoulder and a caring, exhausted voice breathed "Don't try to sit up, lovie, not yet. How do you feel?"

"Useless. Trudy, when can I leave? I'm bored and this place is so dull." Amber told her, feeling worse.

"You're hurt, darling. You've been here for over a week, you had a hairline fracture in your arm. You were lucky, a fall like that, it should have killed you."

"I know... I landed on something softish. Not like a cushion, but it was softer than the floor." Amber recalled, feeling Trudy's hand slip into hers.

The doctor in charge of her said "You landed on her, actually. She caught you, but your momentum caught her off guard and she cushioned your landing." Amber saw him wink at Trudy, who looked disgusted at him.

"Looks like you have an admirer, Trudy." Amber smiled, showing a bit of her old self again.

"Ugh, no. Not him. Horrible excuse of a man. Good at being a doctor, nothing else." Trudy looked like she'd sooner eat off the floor of a horse's stable than go out with him.

"Listen, Trudy, I'm sorry that I hurt you." Amber told her, her cheeks flushing pink and her blue eyes dropping.

"I don't want to discuss any of it yet, darling, not while you're still so weak." Trudy murmured, giving Amber's good hand a squeeze.

"Okay. This room is so dull, so functional. Is it really too much to ask for maybe something pink or unicorn-y? Or something to do with music?" Amber sighed quietly, not wanting to overuse her voice when it'd been out of practice for over a week.

"I can't change the room, that'd make it unusable for anyone else. But I do have this to make it seem less boring." She placed a black frame on the table and plugged it in. It lit up and started playing relaxing music. A slideshow of every good time Amber had ever had at Anubis house was on the frame. "I went through my photographs last night in Anubis house. They don't let me stay overnight, though I wish to God and back that they would. I thought you'd like something to make this place less dull for you."

Amber reached out for Trudy's hand and held it. "Thank you so much, Trudy. I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you. You're my guardian angel."

Trudy felt tears in her eyes and she almost cried. "Oh, Amber, love." She softly murmured, clinging onto the blonde girl's neatly manicured hand as if it was her last connection to earth.

* * *

Four days later, Amber was released from the hospital, Trudy at her side. She knew that Trudy would look after her and keep her safe, but she didn't feel safe. She knew that the kind woman would want to discuss everything that had happened to her. She sat in the car next to the caring housekeeper, knowing that as soon as they got in, she'd let everything flow and beg Amber to tell her everything. "Amber, lovie, are you okay? You're very quiet." Trudy asked, glancing momentarily away from the road.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking." Amber told her, faking a bright smile. _(Your father hates you, Amber. Your friends knew you could hear them and now they're laughing and joking about how gullible you are to believe them. The guardian angel you so desperately want hates you. She doesn't want to be accused of neglect, abuse and murder. You know that she wouldn't ever like you. Nobody would. You're worthless. You're nothing to the world.)_

"Hey, listen." Trudy's gentle voice broke Amber away from her hurtful thoughts and gained her attention. Amber realised that they'd pulled up at a traffic light and that Trudy was looking at her with worried, kind, loving eyes. "If you want to talk to anyone, love, don't hesitate to start. I'm all ears whenever you need me."

"Thanks, Trudes. I'll keep that in mind." Amber smiled at her, knowing that the older woman wanted nothing more than to be there for her if she needed a rock. She went back into her dark, painful reverie. _(Your father hits you like that because you can't do anything right, Amber. Your mother threw herself over the railing that day because she was ashamed to have a daughter like you. You deserve to die. You hurt Trudy by landing on her. It was your fault that she cries so much and you can't deny it, you did it to her. She spent three days beside you, crying and pleading with you to open your eyes and putting up with your doctor's flirting just so that you wouldn't be alone. She made you that digital photo frame just so that you wouldn't be bored and you're ungrateful enough to hurt her like this. You're a worthless piece of dirt, Amber Millington and no wonder nobody loves you. You don't deserve to breathe the same air as these people on this planet. You're not good enough. You're fat, you're stupid, you're evil. Why would anyone want you?)_

There was a sudden, vice-like grip almost breaking her hand. "Amber, stop that!" Trudy's usually mild and quiet tone had vanished and her voice had risen two octaves and the entire street was staring. Amber realised she'd been using her nails to rip chunks of skin off her upper leg. There was blood all over the soft white leather seat of Trudy's car. Tears filled both Amber and Trudy's eyes as their glazed gazes met. Amber felt the pain radiating from the maternal woman just as she felt the torment that Amber felt finally pouring out. "Why?"

Amber started crying, unable to control herself any more. She tried to wrench her hands out of Trudy's shockingly strong grip to no avail. "I can't..."

"You can, my darling. If it's possible for you to accessorize with maroon, you can tell me exactly why you feel so hurt. I want to understand, to help. Please, darling, let me help you."

"You can't!" Amber cried out, not wanting to tell her, not liking the grip the older woman had on her wrists.

As soon as the words left Amber's lips, Trudy yelled "Because you won't let me!"

Amber was shocked silent momentarily. Then she gave a broken sob and whispered "It was him. He did it... He did it all, everything was his fault."

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	5. Chapter 5

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Self-harm. This is T for a reason.**

"Tell me everything." Trudy looked at Amber with a strong desire to understand and help.

Amber looked into Trudy's dark eyes and knew she could trust her to keep it quiet. "You can't tell anyone, I was told not to tell anyone." Amber whispered, as if she was going to be shot for telling her.

"I promise you that I'll never say a word." Trudy promised with her voice softened and Amber couldn't help trusting her.

"Okay. When I was twelve, my parents were arguing. It wasn't the first time, obviously. But my mother told my father that she'd sooner die than live with him. At about midnight, I watched her fall from the railing three floors up. She hit the ground with a nasty sound and there was blood everywhere. Dad tried to make me think she'd done it herself, but I'd seen him in the shadows behind her. He pushed her, Trudy! Three days later, he turned on me. He started to beat me up and tell me that I was the reason Mum died and he said that I deserved to be sent to prison for what I did. He told me I was getting off lightly for what I did, but I knew I wasn't. I was getting off without gravity. He could have been right, why else would she have died? It was my fault that they stayed together, he told me so. She would have left him if it wasn't for me being there. He stopped letting me out and made me pretend that I didn't exist when people visited. He only fed me one small portion of mushed celery a day. I wasn't allowed more to drink than half a glass of water either. When I got my scholarship here, he beat me up and told me that if I told anyone, he'd pull me out and I'd end up the same way Mum did. You can't tell anyone, Trudy, at all. Ever. If you love me, you won't tell anyone. Please?" Amber was crying now and Trudy pitied her. "Whatever you do, please don't let this slip. You're the only friend I have."

Trudy thought that her heart couldn't break more, but seeing Amber in this state almost killed her. "Okay. I'll keep your secret, my lovely. You're in good hands with me, my sweet. Well done and thank you for telling me." She told her, her tone so sincere, Amber believed every word she said.

Quietly, Trudy was bubbling over with anger at the man who tortured Amber so much that she tortured herself. She wanted him to be sent to prison for the crimes he committed and be sentenced for life. Her mind was filled with her crazy but genius plan. She was going to be a force to be reckoned with.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	6. Chapter 6

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Self-harm. This is T for a reason.**

"Trudy, I thought it was my turn to choose breakfast today!" Alfie wailed at the housemother, who had been awake all night, her mind whirling with everything that had been going on for Amber at home, what she was going through in the house, what school was like for her.

"Listen, Alfie, you can have your choice of supper tonight. But right now, this is what's been cooked, so if you don't like it, you can wait until lunch." Trudy snapped, preoccupied with the issues of Amber.

* * *

In the school, Amber was in the girls' loos, trying to resist cutting herself, trying to remember the good in her life. _(Think of what Trudy would say to you. What would she say? She'd tell you that you're stronger than you think. She'd tell you that if you cut yourself and try to kill yourself, you're cutting her, trying to kill her. You can't do that, Amber. She loves you, she wants you to be happy. Think of Trudy, Amber.)_ "Oh, my God! Look at her wrist!" A high-pitched voice screeched.

Amber whipped around to see Shannon Grimby, a horrible girl in the same year as her, and her gang of workers. Shannon was tall, slim and pretty, with long deep red hair, pale skin and flashing emerald eyes. Her gang of little workers laughed at her exclamation as Amber tried to hide it. "What are you even doing here, Shannon?"

"We're here for a makeup check. What are you doing here?" One of her minions answered for her, snappishly.

"What's it to you?" Amber asked, coolly, though she felt her cheeks heating up.

Shannon laughed and said "Come on, girls. We'll go upstairs. We don't talk to losers."

They left the room, giggling madly. Their classes went by quietly. Though by lunch, everyone was staring at Amber. There was a shout of "Get out of here, you freak!" And Amber broke down in tears against the sinks, then began digging for her compass in her bag. She touched the point to make sure it was sharp, then sank the needle in and dragged it along her skin. _(Sad little loser. That's you. You, who can't do anything right. You, the freak. You, who can't even breathe without doing it wrong.)_

At the house, Amber didn't turn up for her supper. Trudy walked into the dining room with plates full of food. "Where's Amber tonight?" She asked, getting worried. Amber had been on time to help make meals with Trudy for the past three days.

Nina said "She's in our room. Said she wanted to be alone for a while."

"Why did she say that?" Trudy asked, feeling a fury and a dark suspicion welling up inside her.

Nina sighed and said "Well, there were rumours going around school today. People were talking about it at lunch. They said that Amber cuts herself and that she was at it in the bathrooms today. Some people said that she was talking to herself."

Trudy's anger got stronger, but she felt despair for the young blonde. "Okay. I hope you children care enough about Amber to help her put a stop to these rumours. I'm going to go check on her. Jerome, Alfie, please do not start a food fight, I'm not in the mood to clean up your mess."

She walked to Amber's room and tapped on the door. "Nina, just come in, I'm not cutting myself." The blonde's broken voice sounded from behind the door.

Trudy walked in and sat on the immensely pink bed. "It's not Nina. Honey, what happened today?"

Amber sat up and looked miserably at Trudy. "I don't know. I was in the girls' loos, trying to prevent myself from cutting when Shannon came in with her usual minions. Then she started being really mean to me and then she called me a sad little loser and left, then at lunch, everyone was staring and someone called me a freak and I lost it and I ran and the next thing I knew I had a massive cut all the way up my arm and I had my compass in my other hand and I'm sorry Trudy and I didn't mean to!" Amber was crying now, wishing she was dead and that she'd never even gone to school.

Trudy hugged her tightly and let her cry on her shoulder. "Oh, sweetheart. Listen, darling, would you like to hear something that could possibly make you feel less alone in all of this?" She asked, holding the sobbing, broken blonde gently.

"I doubt it will, but go on." Amber sobbed out, moving away to look at Trudy.

The kind-hearted woman's eyes filled with torture as she lifted her shirt to show her side. Amber gasped to see faded scars, crossed with newer, more prominent ones. Amber gasped in horror. "Me, too." Trudy whispered.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	7. Chapter 7

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Self-harm. This is T for a reason.**

Amber stared at the scars in shock and horror. _(How can this be? Trudy's such a kind, happy, light person. Everyone loves her. There's no reason for her to do this.) _"How long?"

"What? How long was I self-harming or how long have I been recovered?" Trudy asked, her voice gentle.

Amber looked amazed for a moment. "Both." She whispered, her tone surprised.

"I started when I was sixteen, doing my GCSEs. Everything had gone downhill. My mother was dying, my father was out late every night drinking while I juggled school, revision, caring for my mother, trying to eat and still managing to find some time for sleep. I tried everything. My mother died halfway through my exams and my father just got worse. My friends had abandoned me, not knowing my issues at home, thinking that it was just me being boring and nerdy. There was relentless taunting in school, my father was awful at home and the stress was getting to me. I remember falling onto my desk at home, slicing a gash in my arm. I loved that feeling, like I was being released from the world. After a while, it became a regular thing. I knew not to do it on my arms, because my uniform wouldn't have covered it and jewellery was banned after a few of the older girls had nearly blinded a younger student with the spikes on their bracelets. You saw what happened."

"How long did it last for?" Amber asked, amazed that she wasn't the only one. _(But Trudy had a hard time, too? Why would anyone hurt her? She's incredible! Not like you, Amber.)_

"Until I was twenty and someone found me on the floor in the dormitory of the college my father had shoved me into."

"Who found you?" Amber wanted to know more about this, worried about the kind-hearted woman, the one person who understood her and who had been through the same things and the only person who seemed to care for her.

"The boyfriend of my roommate. He called her and told her what he'd found, then had an ambulance take me to the hospital. They sent me to a support group. Naturally, I hated it, because nobody wants to talk to complete strangers about their issues. And during that group, I realised that the only way to actually feel better is if I could be like the leader of the support group, a man who had attempted suicide. Help others recover. I've been recovered for almost eighteen years. And you know what?" Trudy's face, previously so dark and shadowed with the horrible tragedies of her past, lit up again with the smile that Amber had previously taken for granted.

"Tell me what." Amber whispered, feeling better for having someone who knew.

"If that man hadn't had me sent to hospital, I wouldn't have been in that support group. I'd never have met you or your friends. I'd have been dead by the time my friend found me. I'm grateful that I was ever in that group. Because I have you, Amber. You and your friends. At the time, when everything seems awful, you don't see what the future holds. If you think about it, this time in eighteen years, you'll probably have children, a husband. People who love you as much as you love them." Trudy told her, grabbing her hands. "Would you like to go for a cup of tea at some point? I know a lovely cafe with the most heavenly cake."

"It'll never live up to yours." Amber told her, smiling slightly. She was stunned to realise that it was an actual smile and not just a mask to hide the nasty truth.

"We'll see, shall we? And if ever you need anything, you have me. I won't ever judge you." Trudy smiled shyly, which Amber had never known her to do.

"I trust you, Trudy." A thought then struck Amber. "Have you ever told anyone else this?"

She shook her head. "Not at the school, anyway. Can you imagine? Victor would go crazy. It's not something I like to broadcast around the school."

"What about J-" Amber started, but she was cut off by Trudy.

"No. I couldn't tell him that. Pity is something I don't want, either. You can understand that, right?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't want to tell my crush, either." Amber sighed, feeling sorry for Trudy. "Is that why you said no at the party a couple of years ago?"

"Well, partly. And partly because I knew he was already married." Trudy confessed, her heart breaking again at the memory.

"What? But he really seemed to like you!" Amber gasped, horrified.

"I think he did. His wife visited the library when he wasn't there and she told me everything. That they were having problems, their teenagers were rebelling, that he'd been dreaming of someone else and murmuring their name. Obviously, then I felt awful and later that day, I confronted him about it and he admitted it and told me that he loved me, that they were going to divorce anyway but that he'd settled his mind on it when he met me." Trudy's eyes had filled with tears at the memory, then she remembered who she was talking to. "Sorry, love, I must be boring you to tears."

"No, you're not. Carry on, if you can." Amber tried to be as comforting as Trudy was to her, gently squeezing her hand.

Trudy sighed, swallowed and carried on. "I told him not to, to stay with his wife, try to make it up with her, for their kids, but that was when he dropped a bomb. They weren't actually his. She'd cheated on him, twice. She'd let him believe the kids were his, but when she was found out, everything came pouring out. He tried again at the party, but I couldn't say yes when I knew that his marriage had failed and that he had been flirting behind her back. What would stop him from doing the same to me?"

Amber hugged her, rubbing her back. "If he truly loved you, that would be enough. Love would prevent him ever hurting you. Oh, Trudy, you have had just the worst luck."

"Thanks, lovie. Come on. We'll go for a cuppa and some cake. I'm friends with the owner, they'll stay open for us." Trudy led Amber out, quickly and quietly, signing her out.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	8. Chapter 8

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Self-harm. This is T for a reason.**

The coffee shop was, as promised, a quiet, relaxing place that smelled warmly of coffee and home-baked cakes. Amber smiled at the smell, though it didn't smell _quite_ as nice as Anubis house did when Trudy began to bake. It was pleasant enough, though and the chairs were soft and comfortable. Amber watched as the kindly housekeeper talked to her friend in low tones, not loudly enough for Amber to hear their conversation over the soothing sounds of people chatting over their coffees. Trudy sat down while her friend went off to get whatever had been asked for. "What was that about?" Amber asked timidly, her voice almost too quiet for the older woman to hear.

"What was that, darling?" Trudy asked, looking confused, then at Amber's look, she added "I'm getting old, you know, my hearing's going. You'll have to speak up."

"It doesn't matter." Amber shook her head slightly, looking anywhere but at Trudy. She didn't want to repeat herself or upset the one person who seemed to care.

"It _does_ matter, sweetie. I want you to talk to me. Come on. I won't get angry." Trudy reached out gently, taking the blonde girl's pale hand, with its unmanicured nails bitten to stumps, in her own.

Amber noticed Trudy's skin was dry and her hands weren't quite as soft as hers. She couldn't help noticing that Trudy was the kind of person who worked her hands to the bone and didn't care what it looked like. "I was just wondering what you and your friend were talking about. It's none of my business, though, so you don't have to answer me."

"Actually, we were discussing her. She just told me that she's expecting a baby." Trudy smiled, pleased for her friend, though Amber, being the perceptive person she was, saw an underlying pain in Trudy's eyes.

"And what do you think of that?" Amber asked, knowing the answer. She was happy for her friend, but she was hurting deeply, too. It was no secret that Trudy wanted children of her own.

"Well, I'm thrilled for her! If there's a couple on this earth more deserving of a miracle like that, it's her and her husband. They're such a lovely couple."

Amber wanted her to confess her issue with this. "What about your other friends?"

"Oh, they all have little ones now. You should see them! They're all gorgeous little things. Unholy little terrors, but utterly beautiful. Their parents keep telling me to get a move on, but I don't want to. Not with you and the other kids. I want to watch you all grow up." Trudy told her with a bright smile.

"Don't you have siblings?" Amber asked, looking at the sadness in Trudy's eyes, past the smile.

"I do. My sister. She has three kids. One's sixteen, one's thirteen and one's just turned nine. The eldest is doing her GCSEs now, the middle one's just got into Hathor house on a chemistry degree. He's a genius in science, like his dad. The youngest is already at the math equivalent of a college student and he's fantastic at it, like Eliza." Trudy grinned, proud of her niece and nephews.

Amber smiled. "What do they think of you?"

That made Trudy laugh. "Well, they enjoy having an auntie who gives them everything they ask for and takes gifts with her when she visits. The youngest, when I took Jasper with me once, assumed we were a couple and asked me when we were having a baby!" She let out a soft chuckle and Amber joined her.

"What did Jasper say?" Amber asked, finally controlling her giggles.

"Well, he went pale and stayed quiet until we were in the car. Then he said that he wouldn't be visiting with me again if he was going to be pressured into fatherhood by a nine year old. The next time, my sister tried to pester me about him and trying to get a wedding arranged and a house and baby supplies. It took some effort shutting her up."

Another question was digging at Amber. "Why didn't your sister help you with your parents?"

"Because at the time, she was sick herself. She was in and out of the hospital and her fiance was juggling his work, her and the multiple doctor's appointments. She could hardly move, see, so she couldn't help. She offered, but I refused her. I wish I hadn't, but you know what it's like when someone you love's ill. You can't make them help you."

Amber decided that it was time to get off that topic. "So what will you do when we leave school?"

Trudy shrugged. "I haven't thought about it. It doesn't feel right, imagining you darlings not surrounding me, pranking Victor and myself, screaming at each other, having your little fall outs and reunions and laughing so happily together and sneaking around."

Amber's jaw dropped. "You knew?"

"Of course I knew. You don't think I couldn't hear you kids sneaking around the attic and rushing to the cellar every night? I heard you. Once or twice, it struck me to follow, but I knew you wouldn't like an adult nosing about in your business." Trudy told her, giving her a knowing smile.

"Why didn't you tell Victor?" Amber asked, stunned that she'd known.

"And get you all kicked out? No way. And anyway, if it hadn't been for you kids, we wouldn't be sat here now. You've saved the world before today and if I'd turned you in for that, we'd all be enslaved or dead. I knew you kids wouldn't be doing anything bad. Dangerous, yes, but you're resilient little loves." Trudy gave her a quick wink, before turning as her friend arrived with two lattes and two plates of cake. "Oh, thanks, Miriam. Hey, Miriam, this is Amber. Amber, this is my friend Miriam."

Amber smiled at Miriam, who had a long, dark ponytail and pearly white skin with glowing green eyes. She was tall, pretty and willowy. "Pleased to meet you."

"And you, sweetie. Trudy here tells me that you're one of her special students. One of her closest." The woman, Miriam, smiled, showing perfect little pearl-drop teeth.

"She's the best housemother ever." Amber smiled, looking at Miriam and not noticing the blush on Trudy's cheeks.

"Well, she's definitely awesome. Has she told you the news?"

"Yeah. Congratulations." Amber beamed at her, but was worried for Trudy's feelings on the subject.

"Thanks, sweetie." She turned to face Trudy. "Hey, come on, cheer up. What about that guy you used to fancy? Where's he gone?"

"Japan." Trudy replied, hating to remember. "He didn't like me like that and you know it."

"Yes, he did. He was plainly in love with you. He just couldn't tell you because you're too perfect." Miriam tried to comfort Trudy, but Amber could see that it wouldn't work. "He'll come back to marry you, you'll see. You'll be a wife and mother soon."

Trudy raised her eyebrow at her friend. "What makes you so sure? What if I don't want to get married or have children? What if I want to stay at Anubis house and work until I'm dead?"

Miriam sighed. "He called the cafe. He's going to be back in England by next week and he wants you."

Amber could see that there was a storm brewing in Trudy's mind and she was unnecessarily cold to Miriam after that. It didn't look like Trudy had taken kindly to that news.

* * *

Amber was proven right. That night, there were soft gasps of pain. Amber knew the voice, the pained sounds, after making them herself. She crept to Trudy's room, to find her with a hot curling iron on the inside of her arm. "Trudy!"

"Amber, honey, why aren't you asleep?" Trudy asked softly, hiding her face under her hair, though there was no need with the lights off.

"I can't sleep. Why are you doing this again? You said yourself, it isn't worth it."

"Amber, do you know what actually happened between Jasper and me last term?" Trudy asked, her voice breaking.

"No, but it must be bad if it makes you burn yourself. What is it?" Amber asked, concerned as she flicked on the lights to see her housemother, crying quietly. "What did he do?"

"Amber, you can't tell anyone!" Trudy's soft sobs had broken through and her voice, though fragile, was urgent.

"What is it, Trudy?" Amber asked, though something told her it wasn't good. The look on the gentle woman's face seemed to make Amber's worry deeper. "Trudy, what?"

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	9. Chapter 9

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Self-harm. This is T for a reason.**

"Trudy... What happened?" Amber asked, urgency and worry creeping into her voice as she took the hot curling iron from the sobbing woman.

She cried harder and brokenly sobbed, her voice a cross between a wheezing gasp and a croak, "He asked me... To... He asked me to marry him..."

Amber gasped. She'd known they'd been close, but she didn't know things were that serious. "I didn't know you were even dating. How long were you going out?"

"We weren't dating... He just turned to me while we were packing the exhibits, grabbed my hand and... He told me that he didn't want to leave me... Not then... Not ever... He knelt down and just... He said that he loved me and then... He just asked me to marry him and go with him... To go around the world..." Trudy was crying so hard by this time that her voice was barely existent.

"What did you say?" Amber asked, scared and upset by this news. It couldn't have been good if Trudy was hurting herself because of it.

"I... I just started crying... I had no words... I said yes... But the next morning, when we were helping to load the crates in the lorry... He went inside to get a drink for a worker... And some awful man... He saw the ring. He slapped me and kissed me just... Just as Jasper returned... He was so cold to me for the rest of the day and... When I tried to explain, he... He left me standing and... And... I ran away from him... He came to my cottage... He tried to apologise... He told me that he was... Sorry... For being so cold... I slammed the door in his face... He left... And today... When we were discussing... It... Being reminded... I couldn't take it..."

Amber watched as Trudy's sharp nails clawed deep marks into her arms. Amber seized the older woman's wrists and said "Trudy, stop hurting yourself! He loves you! He had the rights to feel jealous!"

"It was okay for him to be so cold?" Trudy sobbed out, looking at Amber with the most pained and depressed, lightless eyes she'd ever seen. It wasn't what the young blonde was used to, but she had to help her.

"No, but don't you see? He asked you to be his wife. How many men have wanted you to marry them?"

"Before Jasper, I was married... He was horrible... It was a blackmail wedding... He hated me, but he had the power over me. He was evil... He knew that my boyfriend at the time had been killed in a jewellery heist and that I knew, but for his sake, I'd kept my mouth shut. My boyfriend had been caught and arrested and this man said that he'd turn me in if I didn't marry him... So I did... After all my poor boyfriend had gone through to protect me, Amber... How could I throw that away? My boyfriend found out when he got out of prison. He delivered a fatal shot to the evil man, who got out his own gun before he died and shot him through the heart while he took off that wedding band... Oh, sweetie, please... Promise me you won't tell anyone!"

Amber hugged her, realising that her own school and home traumas were faint in comparison. "Trudy, you poor thing! It isn't right for you to go through all of this!"

"But you see? Why I could never marry Jasper? He wouldn't have me if he knew... Nobody would. You shouldn't have heard-"

Amber put the still hot iron on the wooden table at the foot of the bed and shook Trudy. "I needed to hear that! And never you dare try to tell me that you aren't good enough for him! You've kept a dark secret before for someone you loved! You tried to protect him like he protected you! It isn't your fault that bad things happened to you! Jasper loves you and he'll accept you as you are! You need to stop this, because you are the sweetest and most deserving woman this planet has ever seen!"

"Amber, my love, you are far too young to know... What this is like. It's not a nice thing when you know you're responsible, however indirectly, for imprisonment and death! It isn't nice, knowing that I have a shadow of crime, of imprisonment, blackmail, self-harm, abuse and death following me! I can't take it! You're young and I pray to God that you and the other little darlings never have to go through any of it! You're young and innocent and you have a future with a lovely guy. You know as well as I do that I was lucky to even get a job here!"

"Do I care about me? No! I care that you're suffering and by God, you will not blame yourself for any of those nasty disasters! Everyone here loves you! Jasper, a nice guy who would look after you for the rest of your life and make you feel as worthwhile as you are, proposed to you and wanted to keep you for the rest of his life! Do _not_ tell me that you are unworthy of love! You told me that I'm worth it and look at what I am! A spoiled, self-centred, pink-obsessed brat! If anyone's unworthy of the love you deserve, it's me! But you choose to love me unconditionally! You want to keep me alive and to take care of me! You're a wonderful, sweet, kind-hearted woman with a bad past! Don't let it overtake your future too!" Amber was hugging her now, urgently whispering into her ear, letting her sob onto her.

Trudy sobbed and said "Amber, darling girl, you're wrong. You are a beautiful girl. You aren't a selfish brat. You are a gentle, lovely girl. Don't ever tell yourself different or do yourself down. You have your life to lead. Be the bright girl we know you are. And enjoy being a kid. If you want to stay here for this summer, you just let me know. I'll arrange it all."

"Okay, but only on the condition that you do something for me." Amber told her, remembering a project she'd seen on her ChumChatter page.

"What is it?" Trudy asked, looking a bit hopeful, wanting to be some help to this young girl.

Amber whipped out a pen. "Draw butterflies on your wrists. And write the names of people you love underneath them."

Trudy drew lots of tiny butterflies on her wrists, naming them after her most loved people. "Why did I have to do this?"

"Well, you're not allowed to wash them off. If you cut yourself before they fade away completely, then you kill them. If you manage not to cut yourself or hurt yourself in any way before they all vanish, you stand a better chance of not hurting yourself again." Amber explained, then took the pen. "I'll do it, too."

Trudy sighed. She wished that she hadn't told Amber anything. She was too young to know and the last thing Trudy had wanted was to let anyone know about her past, least of all an innocent teenage girl with her own issues. "Okay, Amber, we have the butterflies..."

Amber nodded, then handed her fresh nightclothes from the drawer. "We have the butterflies. Now go change. You don't want to sleep in blood."

Trudy obediently went to change. Amber heard a loud gasp, a thud and a shatter. "Oh my God!" Trudy gasped softly, sounding shocked.

"What happened?" Amber asked, concerned for her housemother.

"Nothing. My reflection just startled me and I punched the mirror." She told her, then squealed.

"What have you done now?"

"Stepped on the glass! Oh, my foot! Where's my first aid kit?" She came hopping out, landing softly on the floor. Blood trickled behind her and she collapsed on the bed. She dug around under her bed until she had a first aid kit. She removed a fairly large shard of glass from her foot, holding back tears of pain.

Amber looked at the cut and took the tweezers, before removing the smaller bits, her keen eyes quicker at spotting it than Trudy's. She managed to remove the glass and safely clean the wound. It wasn't a shock to Trudy, especially with Amber looking after her own cuts. "Maybe in future, you should restrain your punching... Until someone hurts you."

"You don't say?" Trudy teased, the joking lightness returning in spite of her injury.

Amber grinned. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, after all. But this time, she had a plan forming.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	10. Chapter 10: WARNING: Sad!

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Suicide. This is T for a reason.**

It had been a week and Amber was about to put her plan into motion. She checked on Trudy, who was singing quietly to herself as she did the washing. She picked up her phone and typed It's time. "Amber, love, could you pass me the tea towel, please?"

Amber gave Trudy the tea towel and there was knock at the door. Amber went to answer it. "Hi."

"Hi. Where is she?"

"Laundry room. Now, remember the plan?"

"I do. I know what to do."

Amber let her guest go. Moments later, there was a gasp and the sound of running. A whirl of black hair and lilac shot past her and there was a loud slam. Amber could hear sobs and something suspiciously like searching. She rushed upstairs to the housekeeper's room, to find that the door was locked. "Trudy?"

"No!" Trudy yelled, clearly distressed. She was choking on sobs.

"Trudy, open the door!" Amber shouted, worried now.

"No!" Trudy yelled again, not wanting to talk to Amber.

"Help!" Amber yelled downstairs, desperately wanting someone to help her with the stuck door.

"What's she doing?"

"She's locked herself up! She's searching for something! Come up here, please!" Amber's terrified tone caused the visitor to run upstairs and hear the searching sounds stop.

"Trudy? Open up!"

"No...!" Trudy's sob almost killed Amber. "I won't open this door until you're gone!"

"I'm not leaving until you get out!"

"It's hopeless! I refuse to leave!" Trudy yelled. In her room, tears were streaming down her face and she wished that she could be strong and brave enough to leave the room.

"I will break this door down, Trudy! I don't care what it takes!"

"Fine! Break my door!" She yelled, then picked up the sharpest knife she had.

She pressed the blade into her arm and swallowed, before pushing it further in, blood swelling around the blade until it was engulfed. Her hand pressed further and she felt the blade sink deeper. She hit her target and swiped the blade across her wrist. There was a crash as she dropped and two voices screamed "Trudy!"

Amber crouched beside the rapidly paling and bleeding housekeeper. "Trudy... Talk to me!"

"I'm sorry. I couldn't keep it together..."

"Why would you do this?" Amber sobbed, holding the older woman's hand.

Trudy's dark eyes were full of tears. "Because I did what I was supposed to do. I saved you from yourself."

Amber sobbed "But... Jasper. He came all this way to see you. He loves you. Don't you, Jasper?"

He crouched beside Trudy and took her hand, not minding the blood. "I do. I love you. I always have. You're a beautiful, gentle, kind woman. It's just a shame that I missed my opportunity with you."

He leaned down and kissed her lips gently. _(He kissed her! He kissed her! It's so sad and romantic, why did this have to happen now? She's one of the sweetest people alive! Even if she won't be for much longer.)_ As Amber thought these words, Trudy gave a weak gasp. "I wish we could have had the rest of our lives together, Jasper... Look after Amber for me, darling... Don't let her do this to herself."

To Amber's heartache, Jasper was crying. "I promise you, she won't suffer like this, my lovely Trudy."

"Thank you. I love... Both... Of... You..."

With those words, the dark eyes that both Amber and Jasper loved turned glassy and Trudy stopped breathing. A silence beyond all others fell in the room as they held her lifeless hands. The horrific reality crashed around them. They'd just lost the one thing that they'd loved most in the world.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	11. Chapter 11

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Self-harm. This is T for a reason.**

*Amber's POV*

I stood alone in her room. Mr Sweet had given me some time off school as long as I did the work my friends brought in. I could still smell Trudy's perfume. I just couldn't feel her presence. It was hurting me to know that the one person I'd been sure I loved had killed herself. She was doing so well. She'd been happy. Or maybe she was hurting this whole time and I never knew. This is how self-absorbed I am. I was so focused on me that I didn't see that she was tipping over the edge and now she's gone. It'd been utter torture when the others had found out, because they were only concerned about food and the house. I mean, really! Someone who I thought we'd all loved more than anyone else in the world had just _died_ and the only thing they cared about was food! I felt my heart shatter again and I sank to my knees, right next to where she'd died. Tears flowed freely. Since I'd cried so much, I didn't bother with makeup today. _(Why bother hiding the ugliness you know is in there?)_ "Amber?"

I sobbed in response. Jasper knew how bad it was for me, but he didn't have the same understanding that Trudy did. He came in and I knew he'd sat next to me. I felt him wrap his arm around my shoulders. I choked out "I'm sorry... I didn't know she'd... She'd do that..."

"It isn't your fault. It was always obvious that she wasn't happy. It was always just a matter of time until she couldn't take it. She was a good woman and she only wanted you and your friends to be happy."

"Then why did she have to die? It's not fair, if it should have been anyone, it should have been me! She was nothing but good!" I was choking now, only wanting to join Trudy.

"I know she was a good woman. And because she was a good woman, she wouldn't want you to blame yourself or wish yourself dead. She loved you." I could feel Jasper's pain radiating from him and I just knew that it was hurting him to talk about her. He'd so clearly loved her. "She told me to look after you. She wouldn't have said that if she didn't love you. She wants you to live."

_(She wanted me to be happy. Why wouldn't she stay with us? I wanted her to get married to Jasper and grow old with him...)_ "Why would she do that, Jasper? Why wouldn't she stay with us?"

"I don't know, Amber. It's a mystery. But what I do know is that she didn't want to live any more. And that isn't okay, because something was clearly hurting her. But she held on for you. I caught her contemplating it once. She was strong enough to hold on. She knew that she was loved. She died knowing she was loved. Even though she took her own life, she still died happily."

I looked up at him to see tears in his eyes. "Would you have married her?"

He looked at me in misery for a moment, then said "Yeah. I would have. I loved everything about her. She was the universe to me."

I snuggled close to him, knowing he knew that it hurt. "I wish she could be here. Why did she run?"

"I don't know. I wish I'd stopped her." I felt his sob before I heard it. I knew it was hurting him more to think of what he and Trudy would have had. He loved her more than he'd ever loved anyone, I know he did. "It's so surreal, that she isn't here. I keep hoping I'll hear her sweet voice and the pattering of her perfect little feet and then she'll just walk in, unharmed, alive and well. Then there's nothing and it's reinforced that my beautiful little Trudy's gone and I'll... I'll never... Never see that beautiful little face again..."

I hugged him. It must hurt so much to lose the one you love. "Jasper, I'm sorry. She wouldn't like to think that she'd hurt you."

"I know she wouldn't, kid. But still, it doesn't feel too nice. Hopefully, you'll never have to know what it's like to lose the one person you want to grow old with."

I felt awful for this poor man. He loved Trudy even now. Her funeral was close and I knew he'd be hurting.

* * *

I watched as the morticians lay Trudy in her coffin. She looked so little, so helpless, so defenceless. I could hardly stand to see her like that. How could we ever let her be buried? How could we put her in the ground when she was always so scared of constriction and dark places? She would never have been able to cope. But Jasper had insisted on burial and I understood why. He could go and sit by her grave and talk to her remains. He would be able to know that, for a short while at least, she would be whole and peacefully lay in the ground. "Was she close to you?" A mortician asked me, but because I was looking at the body of the kindest woman I'd ever known, I was lost for a moment.

"Yes. To both of us." I got out, before I choked up and looked at Trudy again. She looked so peaceful, like she was asleep and would wake at any moment. But she was too stiff to look alive. I crouched beside her coffin and held her hand. She was so cold, which tore into my soul a little more, because I'd always known Trudy to have warm, rough, hardened and chafed dry hands, not icy cold, soft, moisturised and marble-smooth hands. Her eyes had been closed, though, because it must be a bit creepy to have a dead person watching you. I wished she could just grab my hand and reassure me, then it hurt me again as I realised that she'd never be able to do that again.

Jasper came and sat next to me. "She looks so helplessly little..."

"I know. She used to have so much fire and determination, you'd never see her as this. She was so tough. Nobody could have ever pictured her so small and still. It's not right." I sighed, then realised that this was death. Taking the way Trudy is and changing it. The way Trudy was. Our sweet-natured, kind-hearted, selfless Trudy is... To was.

* * *

"She would never have let any of the kids die. Can't say as I thank her for that because those miscreants are horrible. But she was a decent woman and plenty of people liked her. God rest her little soul." Victor concluded.

Jasper was called up next. I felt horrible for him, he looked exhausted and like he would cry. "Trudy Rehman was a lot of things. She was a selfless woman, a wonderful, spirited person who gave off her own special glow. She spread light and happiness no matter where she was. She loved so unconditionally and was loved in return. She would give everything she had and more. She was a miracle all of her own. She was a lovely woman and it was a privilege to have known her as I did. She had a beautiful soul and it would have been an honour to have kept her for the rest of her life. She should have grown to be an old woman, but that was taken from her by the ghosts of her past. She was a sweet, sensitive woman and she will live on in our hearts until our dying days. May the beautiful being rest in peace."

There wasn't a dry eye in the room. It was torture to Jasper to talk about our lovely Trudy and I understood his pain. It wouldn't be any easier for me. I was called and allowed to speak for her. "Trudy was the most important person I ever knew. She was shadowed darkly by a torturous past, but she held her shadows back. She gave the world the love she deserved and she wanted nothing more than to watch everyone else be happy. She was kind, she was gentle, she was a wonderful woman who acted as a mother to us like we were her own. She didn't deserve the end she got. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't cope any more. Trudy was a soft-hearted woman and she would have done anything to keep us happy. She just couldn't handle her emotions. She could have been standing here in just a month's time, a bride. But she was unable to handle herself any more and that was okay. She deserved so much better, but her example will lead us. She will be our guiding light as the angel we know her to be. She's soft, kind and warm and she will be happy now. Let her rest in peace."

Trudy was buried not long later. Watching her coffin being lowered into the ground made the finality so real. Jasper whispered "We were talking once, her and me, just after we got engaged. She said that one day, after our wedding, we would have a child. And she told me... That she'd name it Rosalee Amber Mae if it was girl... And Charles Fabian James if it was a boy..." He cleared his throat quietly, before continuing "She told me that she would love to have children... She was so excited... It was horrible to know that she'd run away."

* * *

I lay in my bed that night, all alone. Jasper was staying in Fabian's room. I walked into Trudy's room and picked up her knife. Not a bloodstain on it. I examined it. _(This is the weapon that claimed her life. She used this to kill herself. Should I be touching it? No. Should I use it? No. Am I going to? Not if Trudy wouldn't like it.)_ Before I could stop myself, I cut my wrist and felt blood start to trickle. I did it again until it ripped in. _(You went too far, Millington. You've really done it now.)_ I collapsed on the ground and heard feet rushing toward me. I heard voices say my name, but one rang out above the others. "Amber! Why?"

I looked up. Trudy was kneeling beside me, crying. She looked upset. "I'm here now, Trudy..." The world went black.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	12. Chapter 12

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter. Three in three days! Wow! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide. This is T for a reason.**

**Bleeeep. Bleeeep. Bleeeep. **The steady, monotonous bleeping was the first thing I heard as I woke. No sobs. Nobody feeling miserable. I knew it. I could have died and nobody would have cared. I should have known. The only person who would care is dead, buried and moved on. _(__She would have been here for me. Everyone's given up on me.)_ Trudy gave up on me because I was horrible to her. Nobody else liked me. Why wasn't I brave enough to do this to myself? She was. I wish it'd been me, not her. I opened my eyes. The room was black. As my eyes adjusted, I realised quickly that it wasn't my room. It wasn't familiar. A door opened. "It's very late. I don't think she'll be awake."

"I don't care, I have to see her."

_(That voice... Did I know it? Why was it familiar?)_ I was almost blinded by the light, but I didn't care. "She's there. Be gentle."

I opened my eyes when someone's hand took mine. "Amber?" The voice asked and I looked nervously up into the face of none other than Alfie Lewis. "Hi, Ambs. How do you feel?"

"Like the only person in the world who loved me killed herself. Like I'm alone for eternity. Like I deserved to die and she didn't. But hey, never mind that, what's for supper?" My voice was surprisingly hard and cold, like shattered ice and I knew, deep inside, that he hadn't done anything to hurt me intentionally and that he wanted to know, that he wanted to help me out. But I was hurting and I didn't care about anything other than joining Trudy. She didn't deserve that horrible death. She was so sweet.

Alfie, apparently, hadn't noticed that my true upset lay in a grave with a dead woman. "I agree she didn't need to die, but there's no need to be so rude, Amber. You're not alone. You have everyone in that house. Even Victor's been having a hard time lately. He's been investigated twice. Once over Trudy's suicide and your attempt. The police think it was him abusing you both. It turned out that she'd had a pretty dark past. Did you know any of that?"

"Yeah. She asked me to keep it quiet."

"Oh. Well. Did you know that every night, Jasper's been going to Trudy's grave? He's been trying to keep her informed. I think it's stupid, personally. I mean, it's not like she can hear him."

"It's comfort to him. He likes to talk to her. He loved her. Clearly, he isn't over it. Why should he be? She's gone for two weeks, everyone just gets over it. Apparently, everyone except Jasper and me! Everyone else just thinks of food, water and a clean house. We remember the woman who cared about us. He remembers the love of his life. I remember the woman who looked after me, cared for me and loved me when nobody else would." I snapped and lay back, then added, mostly to myself "I wish it'd been me, not her."

"Amber! Never wish that on yourself! Imagine what Trudy would say to you if she heard that! She wouldn't want you dead!" Alfie looked horrified and hurt, continuing with a serious tone "You need to live. Don't put her hard work to waste. She did her best for you and you are _not_ throwing that away! She may be gone because it was too much for her, but she knew you were strong enough to cope!"

"But I'm not! I'm just a burden to the world, Alfie! She knew that! I know that! God above, everyone knows that! I'm nobody important. I'm just here, existing until death. I'll never amount to much more than some useless being, sponging money from other people to support my meagre life because I'm too pathetic to do anything! So, Alfie, it'd be so much better if I was dead."

* * *

I had been very grateful when the nurse made him leave. I requested that I got no more visitors, wanting to be alone as much as possible. I lay alone, longing for the one person who could make me think, even for a moment, that I belonged on this planet, that I was important. It wasn't often, but she could have made me laugh. I missed Trudy. She was so kind to me. But I was soon sent home and Victor made me sit in the living room and the others kept dragging me into the conversations. It was enough to make anybody try to kill themselves. And that was when it hit me. That was why Trudy did it. She was treated like rubbish unless someone wanted something. Up until she knew about me, I'd treated her quite badly. She was so genuine and lovable and she had to _die_ before anyone truly appreciated her. I didn't like it that she'd died and _then_ got friends and respect. Who were these people to mourn her as if they'd loved her? They'd never noticed her unless it was for them! "Amber, what do you think?"

"Of what?" I snapped, my voice like shattered glass. Cold, sharp and unfeeling. Nina looked surprised.

"We want to watch a film and we're stuck between Annabelle and The Proposal. Which would you prefer?" Nina's voice was sweet and kind, as if she cared. Yeah, whatever, she doesn't care. "You're our deciding factor."

"I'm not interested. I don't even want to be here. I just want to go to my bed and listen to music or read or something, as long as I don't have to be here."

Jasper finally looked up and I realised that he'd been looking at a picture of Trudy on his phone. "You heard what your doctor said, Amber. You need to socialise."

"Yeah, but what good will that do? Trudy socialised loads! Look at her now! Being in contact with people when the last thing you want is a load of clueless, nasty people poking at you and goggling at you is the most detrimental thing for the mind! It'd be better if I was left to be miserable on my own! You all have your lives and you're refusing to live them, so you hold me here as some kind of exhibit! Those doctors think they know what it's like, that how this feels is just for attention! Well, Trudy didn't do it for attention! She died from it! It's an illness! If you want something to goggle at, go to a museum, because I am a person! I have rights to be upset! I don't want to be surrounded by you! Socialisation isn't good! All it does is make people want to die! And right now, the evidence is in the cemetery! Feel free to go talk to her! I bet she knows! I'm done with you all! Stuff the doctor's advice! I want to be away!"

I ran to my room before they could see me cry. One thing you should never do: Let them see your pain. A knock and the strong American accent of my roommate floated to my ears. "Amber? Want to talk?"

"No, I don't. Go spend time with some of the others. I have a headache."

I felt someone sit next to me. "Amber, listen. I know you're upset about Trudy, but she wouldn't want you to alienate yourself from us."

"I don't care. She isn't here to help. You guys didn't even care until she died and the whole, ugly truth of it came out! Now you want to be all friendly because it's _interesting_ to have a friend who hates life and doesn't want to be here! I don't like living! It wasn't ever fun and being forced to live with people who don't even like you but still force you to be in their company is torture! It's plenty to make someone smash their skull in! I want to die, Nina! I hate living! It's not worth it! I told Alfie and he told me that Trudy wouldn't want me dead-"

"Well, she wouldn't!"

I talked over her loudly "-and now you're here trying to persuade me to talk to you and to enjoy living and socialisation! Why can't you people understand me when I tell you that I am perfectly happy being unhappy and hating myself for everything alone?"

"Amber, it isn't good for you to be alone all the time! Why would you say that none of us care?"

"You don't! If it doesn't go with your music, your books, your zombie mask, getting money, football or food, it doesn't matter to anyone. It's all just a load of rubbish to anyone! Nobody else understands me now."

Nina dragged me up, surprisingly strong for someone so slim. "Right, come on. We're going to fix this."

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	13. Chapter 13

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

Nina dragged me back to the living room. "Okay, everyone, listen up." Everyone's attention instantly turned to my roommate and me, every eye glued to us. "Amber here thinks that she's the only one with a problem. So what we're gonna do is we're each going to go around the room and confess something about ourselves. Amber, you start. Your name, age and what your issue is."

_(Where to begin? It's a complete circle.)_ I thought, but decided to humour her. "My name is Amber Millington, I am sixteen and I do not like to be in public when I'm not in the mood."

Nina went next. "I am Nina Martin, I am sixteen and four years ago, I was mugged in an alleyway."

To my surprise, Fabian spoke up. "I am Fabian Rutter, I am sixteen and I once accidentally stabbed someone." I hadn't seen that one coming.

Joy went next. "I am Joy Mercer, I am sixteen and I have a two year old son, who is my whole world."

Mick said "I am Mick Campbell, sixteen and when I was three, my mother killed herself while I was in my playpen."

I was horrified. A lot of them had really dark issues. Eddie said "I'm Eddie Miller, sixteen, I was held at gunpoint when I was twelve."

"I'm Mara Jaffray, I'm sixteen and I was bullied in school since I was four."

Patricia said "I'm Patricia Williamson, sixteen and I was a victim of abuse at home."

Jerome said "I am Jerome Clarke, as you all very well know, I'm sixteen and my parents hate me."

Alfie said "I'm Alfie Lewis, sixteen and my father is a control freak who hates everything about me."

Nina looked to Jasper, who hadn't spoken. "Jasper, want to join in?"

He just sighed and asked, with an air of boredom and sadness, "What do I have to lose?"

"Only a thousand shadows hanging over you." Nina told him, trying to be comforting.

I pitied him. He sat up and I noticed that he looked like he hadn't slept since Trudy's death. "My name is Jasper Choudhary, I'm thirty eight, and since my closest friend and fiancee died, I have had no motivation to do anything."

It was true. He hadn't. He'd lost weight, looked permanently exhausted and haunted. He wasn't even eating. I could imagine Trudy's reaction. Nina nodded sympathetically. "Thank you, Jasper. Victor, do you want to get in on this?"

"Why would I bother sharing my problems with you miscreants?" He looked vicious and it was best to let him be.

Everyone could sense it this time. Nina did want him to join in though. "Please? The rest of us have and it will make you feel somewhat better." _(Lies. I still don't feel better. Telling everyone in here that since Trudy's death, he's given up the will to live hasn't made Jasper seem better. It hasn't made everyone's problems vanish. They're still there. She's still going to be dead when we wake up. I'm still going to wish that it had been me instead. Jasper's still going to miss her. Joy will still have a son. Mick will still have the memory of his mother killing herself in front of him. Fabian will still have stabbed someone. Nina will still have the scar of being mugged. Eddie will still remember being held at gunpoint. Mara will still have been bullied. Patricia will still be a victim. Jerome's parents will still hate him. Alfie's father will still be a control freak. Nobody here will recover fully. We're all scarred now. None of us are the same blank canvas we were born as. We all have scars. Every one of us. Every person in the world. Some are visible, some aren't. Some have faded, some are new. We all have tears in our canvas of life. We all have cuts and black writing. We all bear marks of life and telling someone the story of one isn't going to make it go away, it'll just trace it on them too. We will all go through life bearing these marks and gaining more. It's not wrong. It can define us into human beings, better or worse. It still ends us in the same place.)_

"Very well. I am Victor Rodenmaar, I will not tell you my age, and I have to confess that at the end of this term, I will be leaving to live in Egypt with my wife."

Victor's married?! Everyone exchanged shocked looks, then Nina smiled."Thank you, Victor and congratulations. Thank you, all of you. And Amber, I hope you realise that you can tell us anything and we won't judge you. We're your friends and we're here for you."

I didn't think that she meant it. I mean, come on. It's nice to extend a hand to someone in a time of need, but they have better things to do than put up with me. I wanted to be tucked under the earth, near Trudy. Just so she wouldn't be alone. She hated the dark. If she could see where she was, she'd have a panic attack. And it's not like I'm any use. I am Amber Millington and I believe this world would be so much better without me.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	14. Chapter 14

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! I'm sorry I took so long to update. I'm going to have to put a reminder on my phone and I'll set my update days to Fridays. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

It doesn't feel like nineteen hours since Nina forced us all to confess things to each other. At breakfast, they all seemed so much closer to each other and so much more open. Even Victor has lightened up some. I haven't. It's not like I don't want to, but nobody else does understand me. They're there with their issues, but none of them want to die. They're just sitting there, doing math and I'm here looking at the squiggly numbers on the paper. I try to focus my eyes, but it fails for about ten minutes. I finally fix my vision and I read **Expand 2(3x+Y)** and crinkle my nose. How do you expect me to expand that? Expand it... I just write it with wider spaces. I can't be bothered with math. As I leave the class, my teacher calls out to me. "Amber, can I have a word?"

I obediently walk to the desk, my eyes looking anywhere but at my teacher. "What's the matter?"

"Amber, this quiz. You barely answered any of it." My teacher's face shows annoyance, concern and sympathy.

"I'm sorry. I just haven't been able to concentrate." I murmur, still not meeting her eyes. I can't meet her eyes. I don't want anyone to see how I feel. It isn't right.

"Listen, Amber, I know you miss your housemother and it was a tragic death, but you can't stop functioning entirely because of it. You're sad now and I can make one more allowance for you, but you need to pull yourself together and work at it. She wouldn't want you to jeopardise your education and your entire future over her. Now, I'll give you a repeat assignment with your homework and I expect better standards from you in future, because I know you can do this."

I nod meekly, take the papers and leave. I head back to Anubis, safe in the knowledge that my friends will be going out. They do every Friday night. _(I hope it's Friday today...)_ All the days have blurred together for me now, so I'm going to be either in school on Saturday thinking it's Tuesday or not at school on Wednesday thinking it's Sunday. I hate life, it's so confusing. I rush quietly to my room and take out my calligraphy kit. I get a pen I've never used and dip it in ink, then begin to write on my most beautiful silver paper. I sigh, then murmur to myself "This is meant for your eyes only."

"_**Dear Trudy, **_

_**I don't know what to do now. My  
studies are suffering. I hope you're okay  
and enjoying it wherever you are now. **_

_**Things are going from bad to worse here,  
because Jasper has stopped trying to live  
without you. I don't blame him, really, it's  
torture being alive. I understand your motives  
better than ever now. You hated it just as much  
as we do. You must be so happy, living  
in your new home. What are you doing now  
to fill the long hours? Do you need to sleep?  
Are you as tortured there as you were here?**_

_**I miss you, Trudy. I really do. Late at night,  
I think of just crying out and watching you  
run in with a frying pan to protect us. I  
remember you doing that when Alfie gave me  
those raspberry cupcakes. I wish you were  
here to do that again. Jasper's been missing you,  
too. He stays in your room at night, I've  
heard him. He often whispers to you.  
Do you ever hear him? He hopes you do,  
though he rarely talks to anyone but you.**_

_**I hope you're reading my letters, I like  
keeping you informed. You're probably  
sick to death of me contacting you, but  
you're still my only hope of survival, even  
now. **_

_**I love and miss you, Trudy.**_

_**Hugs and kisses, from Amber.**_"

I fold my letter up and put it in an envelope and put it in the place I keep all my letters to her. Mysteriously enough, they all disappear before morning. I strongly suspect Alfie, but I haven't got the energy or the enthusiasm to interrogate him. I don't even want to know. I want to think that it's Trudy, taking the letters by night, reading them and keeping them safe. She won't write back, I know that, but I like to think that she treasures these updates, purely because that's the kind of person she is. "Amber, are you here?"

Alfie walks into my room and sits with me. He wipes my cheek and I realise it's damp. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying. I softly ask "Have you been taking my letters?"

"What letters?" His tone is so genuinely gentle and innocent, I can tell instantly that he isn't lying and he really doesn't have a clue.

"Forget it. What do you need?" I ask, my voice soft and I just know I'm about to break down.

"It's Friday." _(So I wasn't wrong, it is weekend.)_ "We were all wondering if you were coming with us to the restaurant tonight. Everyone's coming. Even Victor."

I shake my head. "I don't feel up to it. And I have tons of homework, which I also don't feel up to."

He gives a breathy chuckle, before saying "You should come. I know you don't feel up for it, but you should. And this is on Victor's orders, not mine, but he says that if you're planning to stay, he's going to put security cameras all through the house, to ensure that you don't do anything stupid."

I sigh. This is because they know what happened. None of them trust me now. I give in reluctantly, not wanting to be spied on. "Fine."

* * *

It is pure torture at the restaurant. Everyone's laughing, joking and eating. I'm picking at my food and Jasper's three million miles away in a world of his own. He's lucky. He probably has Trudy being a comfort to him in his mind palace and then... There's me. I see everyone else having fun, laughing and joking and I'm disgusted. How can they be over such horrible torments, both their own and everyone else's, so quickly? "Amber?"

"Yeah?" I smile, though I know they know that I'm faking it all.

"Are you going to have dessert?" Joy's smile would look sincere to anyone, but I know better. She's being polite to me because she feels that it's only fair to treat me like she treats everyone else, even though I'm a social outcast, a freak, a useless waste of living space in a house full of happy, deserving human beings.

"Uh, no thanks, I'm really full."

Okay, so I lied. I'm probably starving, but I don't care anymore. I can't feel it, so it doesn't bother me. I just wanted to go home, sit at my desk and write to Trudy. Even though I know she won't read my letters, she's still a good comfort to me and I miss her. I want to be near her. Not in a creepy way, I just need to know that she'll still be there for me and talk to me when I'm miserable. "Go on, Amber. You need to." Mick's voice broke through my reverie, but I honestly did not want dessert. I'm already too fat. I'm a size twelve already and if I eat too much fat and sugar, that's what I'll be. I remember Trudy telling me to eat all of my veg, then she'd give me a special pink cake. She never did come on these nights out and I never knew why. Then I stopped it and we'd stay at the house together and she'd be sure to look after me. She never would let me starve myself and she never starved herself, either.

"No, really, it's fine, thanks. I'll pass." I give them a huge, fake smile and make sure I don't seem hungry.

Fabian's voice is quietly murmuring and I hear him say "...She wouldn't want this. Please, think of what she'd say to you if she saw you starving yourself. She wouldn't be happy. Please. I know that you're not happy and I respect that, but think of how she'd react to you disregarding your health over her."

Jasper's voice is even quieter than Fabian's, if that's possible, when he says "I have no reason to go on, Fabian, not without her. You're too young to know what it's like to lose the only woman you've ever loved. Without her, nothing seems right. She was my whole life."

"She wouldn't expect you to die for her, Jasper. Just have something to eat and drink. Imagine it's her cooking and she's preparing your dessert. Imagine the pleased look on her face when she sees you eating."

Fabian's attempts are failing and it becomes plain when Jasper just looks distant. I sigh. He's the lucky one, he can just space out and go to his mind palace and imagine Trudy, alive and well, living with him. I envy that talent and I wish I had it. I wish it'd been me, not her. That way, life could have gone on and been better. The world would still have Trudy and she'd be Jasper's wife and nobody would ever have to look at my fat, ugly face again, because I'd be in the grave that our poor Trudy now occupies and it'd be so much better for everyone.

* * *

In the end, Fabian managed to coax Jasper into eating and we'd made it back here and I'd come straight to bed. I'm lying here in the dark, listening to Nina's breathing and seriously hating myself. I roll over and hear a crackle. I sit up and grab my torch keychain. I press the button as I pick the crackly thing up. It's a little blue envelope. I read the pretty silvery lettering on the front, reading "_**Amber**_". I open the envelope and find a letter.

"_**Darling little Amber,**_

_**I miss you, too. Don't you ever  
stop trying to live. As you read  
this, I want you to remember  
that I never meant to hurt you.  
**_

_**You need to put your mind into  
your studies now more than  
ever, my darling. If you feel  
down, just write. Since your last  
letter, I have decided to start  
writing back. **_

_**Don't you go and  
give up the will to live now, child,  
because I did not try to help you  
for nothing! And if he's trying to  
give up on life, you better go give  
him a kick in the shins from me  
and tell him to get himself back  
on track. I'm not ready to spiritually  
solve the brains of two of you!**_

_**But on a more serious note, darling,  
it's not much fun being dead. It  
certainly isn't easy. Dying for me  
was a painful end. (I mean my  
wrists, because that stung.)  
**_

_**You, however, are stronger than  
I ever was. You know how to cope  
without tearing gaping holes in  
your skin. You've done it before.  
Don't follow me like that, my lovely.**_

_**You should die at an old age. You have  
plenty of people who will love you for  
who you are, not what you do. **_

**_And I can now answer your many  
questions._**

**_One: No, I'm not happy, I want to  
come back as a full human and give  
that annoyingly adorable fiance of  
mine a good kick in the shins and  
tell him to stop being such a mope._**

**_Two: Watching over you and Jasper,  
what else would a spook like me do?_**

**_Three: No, but I can and I might._**

**_Four: Not in the same way. It hurts  
now because I miss having you and  
Jasper and the other kids and Victor._**

**_And yes, I remember the frying pan.  
Good times. That allergy of yours,  
you looked a bit like a raspberry  
yourself!  
_**

**_No, I'm kidding, you didn't. You  
actually looked like my niece  
when she painted herself pink.  
You looked adorable, if a bit  
surprising._**

**_Oh, and yes, I hear him.  
I sit next to him, too, though  
I don't know if he senses me.  
_**

**_And as you can see, I do  
read your letters. I never  
want you to think for one  
minute, no matter how sad  
you feel, that I'm sick of you  
and your letters. I love having  
things like this to treasure._**

**_Now, darling, I want you to do  
something for me._**

**_I want you to stop thinking of  
death and darkness and start  
thinking of how beautiful you  
truly are. Remind yourself of  
the girl in the beautiful blue  
prom dress. Remind yourself of  
the girl who would eat anything  
if it meant she got a strawberry  
cupcake after her supper.  
_**

**_Please let me see the little girl who  
never would let the world tear her  
confidence away. Show me my little  
Amber again. _**

**_I'm going to shut up now and I hope  
you listen to me. I love and miss you,  
sweetie. Sleep tight, my beautiful  
Amber._**

**_Lots of love and kisses, from Trudy._**"

I break down in tears. She actually cares! She wrote to me from wherever she is now. I miss her. I want to do exactly as she says, but I don't know how. But now I know that I'll always have Trudy to look after me.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	15. Chapter 15

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! YAY! I did it! Friday! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

It's now Monday. I have been corresponding with Trudy for the last three days now and she's such a great help. I've been passing the extra notes that she wrote to Jasper on, so he can talk with her, too. He's become so much more human since these notes and he won't let anything go unnoticed. I get home from school and find a letter under my pillow. I open it eagerly and am horrified by what I read.

**_Amber Millington._**

**_Your housemother is currently being held  
in captivity. She will be returned to the spirit  
when you have completed the list of tasks  
printed below._**

**_Rufus._**

**_1\. Find the blood of Osiris._**

**_2\. Collect the golden water._**

**_3\. Take the Feather from the tomb  
of the Great Pharoah._**

**_4\. Take the wedding flower._**

**_5\. Leave all on the dead woman's grave._**

I scream and I hear footsteps. I hear a caring voice, one I'm only familiar with due to Trudy. "Amber, calm down. What's the matter?" I pass the letter to Jasper and he curses softly. "This is almost impossible. Only her grave and the myrtle flower are accessible."

I sob "We have to try. We can't leave her to him! They're both in spirit, he'll hurt her!"

"He said he'd return her to spirit. Do you think there's a possibility that he has her spirit and her body reunited?" Jasper asks, thoughtfully, though I can tell he's just as worried as I am.

"That's impossible, isn't it?" I ask, because everyone says that the dead don't return. And even though I've seen weirder things, like immortalising tanks, raised gods, evil maniacs with obsessions over living forever and poisonous flies and no problems with kidnap, bribery, child-slavery and murder, forgotten rulers who don't care who they kill and crazy old ladies who pass on lethal secrets, I believe that the dead can't return to life once they've left it.

"If it's a mortal or a magical mortal, yeah. For a god or goddess, though, it's a whole different story. Fabian, when Rufus died, didn't you say he took the spirit of a pharoah with him?"

"A woman. Senkhara. The one with the diadem."

"Yes, the forgotten ruler. She would have had the power of a goddess in her hands... She could well have reunited Trudy with her body and brought her back from the dead, which is so close to impossible..."

"There's a chance that we could have our Trudy back?" I ask, suddenly excited.

Jasper nodded slowly. "If we play our cards right, we might. The chances are so slim, it's unreal, but there's still that bit of hope. But now, we need to get on the hunt for these things."

I didn't trust Rufus and his list seemed threatening, to all of us and worst of all, to Trudy. But there was a very, very slim chance she'd be back here within a month!

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and if it seems unrealistic, I understand, but when has this show or fandom gone by realism? I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	16. Chapter 16

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

It's been five days and we're still no closer with the tasks set. Jasper's studying as much as he can, but he hasn't found anything. Vera's returned, since she heard about Trudy's death. I guess she's plotting again. No surprise there. She's making our supper as we speak. I go to Jasper, who is sat at the table, searching the internet again and sit next to him, then ask "Did you divorce your wife?"

He jumps and stares at me. "How did you know about that?"

"I asked Fabian when I knew that you asked Trudy to marry you. Did you divorce her?"

"Yeah. I was glad to see that back of her. She was a cheat, that I can tell you. The kids weren't mine, which was kind of upsetting. Anyway, why do you ask?"

"Because I thought... If Trudy had known, she'd have told you to try to remember why you married your wife."

Jasper gives a dry chuckle and says "If she'd said that, I would have laughed. The reason I even ended up married to her was because her father would have killed me for his daughter's misbehaviour. It wasn't a choice. I wish I'd waited to meet Trudy. Now, her, I would have married and never let go of. Anyway, have you kids had any luck with this blood of Osiris thing?"

"Not yet. You?"

"No. It's so frustrating."

"I know. And to think, if we could get this stuff, we might get our Trudy back."

"Don't, Amber. It's stupid to think we'll see her alive again." Jasper sounds so defeated, I have the urge to punch him and I feel as if it's Trudy, urging me to punch him, even though I know she's in spiritual captivity.

* * *

It's midnight as I pull on my jacket and climb out of my bedroom window. I climb onto a tree and climb down, then run to the cemetery, where I know Trudy's grave is. But when I arrive, I'm met with a horrific sight. Her grave has been defiled. There's a mountain of mud next to her now open grave, her coffin is open and her body's missing. Jasper's stood there, by the grave, Trudy's favourite flowers on the floor next to him. When I get to his side, I realise that he's crying and I understand exactly why. She hasn't been allowed to rest peacefully here. There's a note, soaking wet with the rain, but still readable.

"_**Your girlfriend's body has been  
reunited with her soul.  
You have three days and  
if I don't get what I want,  
she will be brought to your  
home and burned alive.**_

**_R.Z._**"

I show the letter to Jasper, who is furious. "I'd love to punch that hideous man in the face for this. Why would anyone defile the final resting place of this lovely woman?"

"He's evil. He deserves to burn." I say, hating Rufus for this, for ruining Trudy's grave, for taking her away from Jasper and me again. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was dead once! She's being held hostage!

***Trudy's POV***

I struggle relentlessly against my chains in this dark room. I don't know if I have a physical form, but I don't like constriction. One minute, I'm writing to Amber, poor, darling Amber, then I'm pulled away, I'm restrained, I can't float, I'm caught. "Let me go!" I scream, to no avail.

My imprisoner walks to me and cups my cheek in his hand. I long to turn my head and bite him, but I can't. He smiles evilly at me and says "It's okay, princess, calm down. You'll be back in your ghostie form soon enough. Let's just give your fiance and the depressed child the hope of seeing your not very pretty face again. In the meantime, though, you can keep your little mouth shut or it might have to swell shut. Okay? Be a good girl, princess and you might get food."

"I don't want food! I want my family! I want my kids! I want my fiance! I even want my boss! Just let me go, you horrible man! I don't want my Amber to go and kill herself! She's suffering! She's a child!" I scream, but he just laughs at me.

"I like it that she suffers. It's funny to watch you squirm and scream, trying to help her. You know you can't. Not in your body. You're trapped. If this keeps up, I'll have the spikes on you."

I squirm again and snap "It isn't fair to torment a child. It isn't fair to cause anyone more pain when they're still dealing with the loss of someone they trusted! Have a heart!"

"I'll take yours if you don't shut up and stay still, you squirmy little princess. Do you want to die again?"

"I'm dead already! That's the point of suicide! You die! And you stay dead! I'm not alive!" I yell unhappily.

A voice responds, this time, a woman's, but no less cruel. "You've been revived. You'll die again soon, no doubt, but you've been revived long enough to be our bargaining chip. Now, calm down, princess."

"Why do you two mad people keep calling me princess? I'm no princess! I could kill you both if I wasn't chained up!"

At my words, the two of them laugh, the sound mad and full of dark humour. The woman says "Oh, princess, I've had newly born sand kittens more ferocious than you."

I roll my eyes and snap "Would you quit calling me princess?"

"I thought you liked that? Your fiance calls you that, does he not?" She replies, her evil voice so innocent and caring that I can see through it like clingfilm.

"That's different." I tell her, with a note of embarrassment in my voice, because _she_ shouldn't have known what Jasper calls me in private.

"How so? He calls you princess. You are a princess. I believe that's grounds for anyone to call you princess." She's starting to get on my nerves and I just want to slap her because she sounds so smug.

"It is different. I'm no princess. He calls me that because he loves me. That is no grounds for you to call me that. You two _hate_ me!"

The man speaks up this time, he sounds amused. "You are a princess, little being. Not a good-looking one, but still, you're a princess. You're her ten thousand times great granddaughter."

I laugh harshly and say "I am not. I'm not a princess. I'm a former housekeeper. I died nearly a month ago. I was engaged to a travelling architect. I was a widow for a lot of my life. My parents were immigrants from Pakistan. Trust me, I am no royal."

"You should have traced your ancestry, you silly woman. You're an idiot as well as a child. You got yourself in this mess by suicide. And now, we own you." The man's voice turns me to stone for a few minutes.

***Amber's POV***

Something jerks in the room and I jump. Something's not right. The room darkens and I see a stone table. I hear a squeaky, sweet voice I know, love and miss say "You don't own me."

It was Trudy and someone was threatening her. The room comes back and a voice from the doorway asks "Where is Victor Rodenmaar?"

I turn to face the speaker. It's a young female, around my age, her long hair flowing and curling. She has dark skin and eyes and I place her immediately, with the soft tone and accent. It's Trudy. Vera smiles at the girl and says "He's popped out, dear. What's your name?"

"Rosalee."

I exchange a look with Jasper as the shock hits me.

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough and if it seems unrealistic, I understand, but when has this show or fandom gone by realism? I will try to update quickly. Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	17. Chapter 17: Who Is She?

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

I look at Rosalee and she looks so happy. Her hair is long, black and curly, reaching the middle of her back. She's incredibly slim and she has big, brown eyes with long lashes. Her eyebrows are perfectly shaped and she resembles Trudy in one way and Jasper in another. But it isn't possible. She's at least sixteen and Jasper only just met Trudy last year. I look at him again and mouth "What?"

He shrugs and mouths "I have no idea."

Rosalee smiles. "And... Who are you all?" Her eyes scan the crowd until she spots Jasper. "You kind of look like my dad..."

We all look at him. "Do I? That's a coincidence. Where are your parents?"

"Mum's at home. Dad dropped me off. Uh... I have a letter. They told me when I came here that I was staying with an... Amber Millington and Nina Martin?"

Nina jumps up. "I'm Nina. The blonde there is Amber."

"Oh, okay! Nice to meet you both. Um... Where do I take my cases?"

Jasper jumps at the chance to leave. "Come with me, Rosalee. I'll show you. Amber, will you keep searching?"

I take over the searches on Jasper's laptop. He looks at Rosalee suspiciously. I can't help worrying.

***Jasper's POV***

I look at the new girl. She's not quite at my shoulder height, but I'd guess at her being about five feet, four inches. Just an inch or so taller than my sweet Trudy. "Rosalee, forgive me for asking, but what does your mum look like?"

"She's really pretty. She's got shoulder-length black hair... Dark eyes. Dad says I look like her. But I don't think so. She thinks I look more like Dad. I don't think that, either. More... A mixture of them."

Rosalee has that piercing, perceptive look, just like Trudy. "How tall is she?"

"Not very. Maybe a little shorter than I am. Dad calls her his little Munchkin lady."

I can hardly believe it. Her mother sounds so much like my Trudy, it doesn't seem real. "What year was she born?"

"Uhhh... I think maybe in nineteen seventy seven? Sometime around then? She never celebrates her birthday, so I don't know. And she gets all awkward if I ask her age. Dad once said something about the late seventies... I have no idea."

I feel more and more assured that this child is Trudy's. But the only thing is... That beautiful woman never had children. I've seen her home, her family's homes. No daughter at all. How is she possible?

***Amber's POV***

I click on what must be the thousandth article when suddenly _**The Golden Water**_ appears in blue. I click it and it takes me into a description.

_The Golden Water is a mythological substance.  
It is said that it appears when the Mask of Anubis,  
replica currently in the travelling** Treasures Of **  
**Egypt exhibition**, is worn by the **Chosen One**,  
a direct descendant of the High Priestess **Amneris**.  
It is said to be a vital ingredient in the mythical  
**Elixir of Life**, which is said to give immortality  
to the drinker when drunk from the **Cup of Ankh**._

I pick the laptop up and race to Jasper. "Jasper! I scream, enthusiastically. We may be one step closer to getting Trudy back! I charge right into my room and find him frustrated. "Jasper, I have the best news ever!"

He stops and looks at me, then takes his laptop from me. "What? That's the..."

"Real thing, I know. You see? We're getting somewhere!"

He clicks on the link for the exhibition and facepalms. "We're not. Look at where it is."

I read out loud "The Treasures of Egypt exhibition, currently residing in the Egyptian Galleries in West Yorkshire."*

"Yeah... I don't know..."

"You could go. It can't be that far."

"It is. We're in Liverpool, Amber. I can't go to Yorkshire now."

"You can. It's for Trudy. She's at stake. If you truly love her and want her safe, you'd be content to go crawling through a desert with no food or water for three days."

Inspired, he sits up. "You're right. And there's no time to waste. I'd better get going."

Mention Trudy in danger and he perks up. I guess it's because he loves her... It's so sweet. I can only wish that someone would do this for me. I just know it won't happen. As Jasper leaves, Rosalee says "I can help, you know."

* * *

And that's this chapter. I hope that this was good enough. And any guesses on who or what Rosalee is? What does she have to do with all of this? Let me know what you think and stay tuned! Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	18. Chapter 18

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

We all stare at Rosalee for a minute before she shrugs. "Well, it was just an offer. I just think that... Well, maybe I could help you. I mean, I know where they're keeping her hostage."

"Who?" Nina challenges, expecting Rosalee to shrug. I can sense an air of futurism about her, but I could be being paranoid.

"Trudy."

That earns her another stare. Jasper speaks up and I can hear how constricted his throat is. "How do you know about her? Who in God's name are you? Where are you from?"

"Well, it's just a guess. I never did quite get her name. And you can see who I am, I'm Rosalee. And I'm from Manchester, originally. My parents moved up there before I was born."

"When were you born, Rosalee?" Nina asks, and she's getting intrigued. I have a horrible feeling about this and I'm not sure I want to know.

"Um, I'm sixteen... So, what year are we in?"

"We're in twenty fifteen, why?"

"Oh. Okay. I shouldn't be here, then."

I watched Rosalee's eyes drop. "What do you mean by that?" I ask, my heart dropping in terror. She could be our one chance at seeing Trudy again.

"Well, twenty fifteen is two years before my time. I was born on July second twenty seventeen."

"Who are your parents?" Jasper asks and now he's panicking.

"I'm not supposed to say. They don't know I'm here. I'm supposed to be doing homework in my room, but who can resist seeing this?"

Jasper's voice hardens and he almost shouts at her "I don't have a clue who you are, but if you don't tell me the God's honest truth, I will call the police! If you think that my fiancee's life is a joke, then you're sadly mistaken! Tell me who you are and where you've come from before I have you arrested!"

"You sound like my dad, too. Okay. I need some time before I can tell you who I really am. I don't want to freak you out, okay? I know that her life isn't a joke, that's why I'm here. I want to help. And I want you to know me, I really do, but you're going to have to trust me. I know you probably wouldn't trust me as far as you can throw me, but I'm the best chance you have of rescuing Trudy. Please let me help you."

Rosalee's voice is soft, but she's determined. I hate the way her eyes attack us. It makes me think of how Trudy used to stare at us when she wanted information. If that woman hadn't been such a soft-hearted human being, she'd have made a fantastic criminal. There's a lot of muttering from everyone, clearly saying no. But I trust her with my life and I believe she knows as much as she says she does. "You can join us, Rosalee."

Every one of them stares at me and Nina asks "Amber, are you crazy?"

I turn and smile at my roommate. "I certainly am. And that's the best bit. Welcome to the hunt, Rosalee."

***Trudy's POV***

I'm cold. I'm underfed. I may be dead, but I don't enjoy not being fed. Even the undead get to eat, right? I call out "Is anyone going to feed me any time soon? Or water me? Or let me use the loo? Come on, I'm going to wet myself here!"

The door opens and the man walks in. "Princess, would you shut it? I know you're not enjoying this, but you don't have to scream the place down."

"Well, do you _want_ me to wet myself? Where is the bathroom? I'm going to explode!"

He releases me, rolling his eyes. He leads me to a stone chamber with no windows. "This door locks from the outside. I'll lock you in. When you're done and you've washed your hands, knock once to be let out."

I'm so happy to relieve myself. It has been ages without a bathroom break. I'm amazed at my capacity, but I dread it if I ever escape alive and have children. I doubt I'd ever make it to the loo. I wonder what Jasper's doing. I hope the poor darling's okay. I hate to think of him suffering. And Amber, too. Poor, darling Amber. I hope she's keeping herself safe. It hurts to think that she's hurting herself. I wash my hands and face. I need to shower, soon. I stink and my hair's greasy. I call through the door "Is there a shower or something? I smell like an abandoned horse's stable and I don't look much better!"

He calls "I'll take you in a minute. I'm not even disagreeing with you, you do smell awful."

Knew it. It must be bad if _he_ thinks that! He smells like a farm field himself. I suppose it comes with the place. I knock once to be let out. He takes my shoulder and leads me to his female companion. She eyes me and asks "What do I do with this?"

"Take her to the shower. She's disgusting."

He's a real charmer, isn't he? Disgusting! If I didn't agree with that, I'd be offended. I'm too busy being offended by my own smell, though. The woman nods. "I agree. Come along, woman."

I roll my eyes. "I have a name."

"Of course you do, princess. I just choose not to use it."

I am so glad when I manage to get to the shower room. I look at the woman and eye her for a minute before saying "I can manage from here."

"Are you sure? You're supposed to be a prisoner."

"And I will be, even if I am in the shower. But you are _not_ coming in here! This is the boundary. Showers are Trudy time!"

"Well, I'll be out here waiting. Make sure you don't smell of manure when you leave, please."

I rush inside and hear the lock click. To be on the safe side, I lock it from the inside, too. Nobody is walking in on this, this is my time. My shower is going to be pleasant, even if it's icy. As soon as I'm in there and I switch on the water, I'm relieved. Warm. I'm contently washing my hair when there's loud banging at the door. The man shouts "Hurry up, woman!"

I shout back "I'm still washing my hair! And be careful with the door! That is mahogany!"

I love that joke. It's something I learned from my precious little Amber. "What are you babbling on about mahogany for?"

"You uncultured beast! How do you not know what that means?" I shout, truly insulted. I'd read that book a month before my suicide. (And unnecessary resurrection. I mean, really, I was okay being dead! Aside from not kicking Jasper in the shins for moping, anyway.)

I've got to admit, I feel a whole lot better now that I'm clean. I grab clean clothing, thrilled to find that they'd fit. I couldn't wait for freedom.

***Rosalee's POV***

I think about what Mum told me about meddling in the times before my life. I could easily undo my entire existence with one wrong move. But I feel as though Amber likes me... I wonder if we could be friends? No, Rosa, don't think that. Don't think of being called Rosa or baby... Mum and Dad call you those names and you're betraying their trust in you. You need to stay well out of this or you may not exist now. "Rosalee?"

I jump at the sound of Jasper's voice. "Yes?" I ask.

"Are you prepared to go to Egypt?"

I nod. What have I let myself in for?

* * *

And that's this chapter. We have a Rosalee POV! I hope that this was good enough. And any guesses on who or what Rosalee is? What does she have to do with all of this? Who are her parents? How did she get there? What does she mean? Let me know what you think in a review and stay tuned! Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	19. Chapter 19

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! I am so so so so super sorry for the lack of updates! And Friday's still the regular update day. Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

***Rosalee's POV***

I lie under my duvet, worrying over how these people are going to react when they find out who I am, where I'm from and who my parents are. Oh, God, what about that Egypt trip? Jasper's going to need to see my passport! Oh, God! I could just fake sick and stay with everyone who isn't in Sibuna...

***Amber's POV***

I lie on my bed, looking at the wall. Egypt. I've only ever been there once, when I was four. And from what I remember, walking in some of the places, it smelled of camel. I don't think all of it does, but I was only a kid. And now... I'm only a kid legally now. I only wish that Rosalee would tell us who her mum is. Who her dad is. I have a creeping suspicion that Jasper is her dad and Trudy is her mum... But that's not possible, because her captors will kill her again, if they've actually managed to revive her. I wonder if I can possibly save Trudy... Maybe if I could-

(_Amber's dream_)

_(The figure strapped to the table is fighting and screaming. "Would you just let me go already? I have a suicidal teen to care for and a fiance to marry! I can't stay here!"_

_"Yes, you can. And to them, you're more dead than the dinosaurs, princess. You're not going to be set free by them."_

_I know the voice. How can I not? Male, harsh, young but with the experience of the old. Rufus. Poor Trudy gives a laugh that is so hollow, it hurts. "Well, duh. Dinosaurs are extinct. But my precious lovelies aren't. And they have more strength and intelligence than you two put together. Now, set me free, before they come and fry you both!"_

_She sounds strong, threatening and just so scared! I call out "Trudy, we're coming for you!"_

_That's when I got caught by a cold, burning hand. Like when I got the Mark, burning. I look up into the face of a ghost I wish I'd never met. Senkhara smiles at me cruelly and says "Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in."_

I wake up in a cold sweat, shaking and crying. I hear Nina sitting up, half-asleep, then footsteps as she walks over to curl up with me. "Amber, what is it?"

"I saw her... And her imprisoners... I know what they're doing to her, Nina..."

"Is she hurt, Amber?"

"Not yet. They're being really mean to her. And one of them keeps calling her princess," I sob, though I know Trudy's strong enough to hold her own.

"Like Jasper does?" Nina sounds concerned now.

"No, he's really mean to her about it. I just want to get her back, Nina!"

She wraps her arms around me and cuddles me. "I do, too, Amber. But right now, she can hold on. We are going to save her, regardless."

***Trudy's POV***

The man decides it's funny to sit by my feet and tickle me. I hate it when people try to tickle my feet, they're so sensitive and it's pure torture. Jasper did it to me to irritate me when we were having slow days during that term with the exhibition. I'd give anything to have him trying to annoy me again. It'd be a right sight nicer than this guy. He tickles the sole of my foot and I try to squirm, realising (yet again) that I can't go anywhere. "Would you quit that? I hate it when people touch my feet."

"And that, princess, is why I do it. I'm just as starved for entertainment down here as you are and watching you squirm is hilarious."

I glare at him. "Can't you read or buy a telly? Why do you have to pick on me?"

"Because it's more fun to watch you squirm. It's almost as cute as your kid."

I look at him, confused. "Which? Amber, Jerome, Alfie, Mick, Mara, Patricia, Joy, Fabian, Nina, Eddie, Willow or KT?"

"Rosalee."

"Huh? I've never known a kid with that name. It's a name I'd have used for a possible daughter in the future I'll never get, but I haven't got a kid or known a kid with that name."

"Oh, yeah. She's at Anubis house."

"What? Oh, my God, another hungry mouth to feed?" I want to cry, really hard. How could I have missed a new student's arrival? "Is she nice?"

"Seemingly. Kind of looks like you. Everyone picked up on it." He tickles my feet as he speaks, causing me to squirm.

"Well, that's possible. I do have a cousin I've never met... And can't remember the name of. And stop tickling my feet, you weirdo. Do you have some sick obsession with feet?"

"No. I just like to torture you."

"You're insane."

"Very observant."

I roll my eyes. At least it isn't painful, just incredibly irritating and it makes me squirm.

***Jasper's POV***

My precious little Trudy, I hope she's okay. I lie still and close my eyes, remembering her shrieks when I tickled her feet, laughing at her wriggles and her kicks as she tried to get me to stop. I sadly smile, knowing that there's a possibility that I may never see her lovely face again or hear her precious giggles. I long to see her one more time, even if it's only for a minute. Just so that I can see her again and confirm that she exists. It's so weird, being in love. I thought I knew what being in love was, but then Trudy came along, being as perfect as she is. She changed everything. She only had to let one small tear fall and I wanted to destroy whatever was hurting her. One smile lit up my whole world. One tiny giggle and the bells chimed. I wanted to kill anyone who flirted with her. My Trudy was the cutest, sweetest, most caring, giving and loving person I had ever had the honour to know. And now, she's trapped with two evil, insensitive, soulless monsters who don't care whether she lives on as a human or dies again.

* * *

I wake to the morning and I get the mail. The tickets for the residents of Anubis house have arrived and I make sure that their possessions are locked up safely in the back of the van I hired. If only my poor Trudy was here. Maybe one day, if we're lucky, I could take her out of this country to show her the rest of the world. I'd love to show her things like the Statue of Liberty, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the great Pyramid of Giza, the Eiffel Tower, the Anne Frank Huis. She has such a taste for culture and art. One of the many things I love about her. If only she was here... "Hey, Jasper, what's up?" Jerome asks, smiling at me.

"Nothing. Just thinking. Where's everyone else?"

He shrugs. "Trying to get Rose up."

"Rose?"

"Rosalee."

Just like my beautiful Trudy, Rosalee is not a morning person. I remember seeing my poor Trudy half-asleep in the library once, drooping like a little flower. When I offered the sweet delight a hot mug of coffee, she drank it sleepily then dropped onto the table, her poor face down. "I don't _want _to get up!"

Rosalee's scream from the back of the house jolted me from my thoughts of the most beautiful woman on this planet.

***Amber's POV***

Rosalee's stubbornness is getting too much for me. I can't take the screaming, fighting and bruising. She packs a fantastic punch. She reminds me of my dad, when he used to hit me. I crouch beside her bed and murmur "Rosalee, it's Amber. Will you get up? We're going away."

"Go away! Can't you see that I don't want to get up, you stupid blonde?"

I get up, suddenly feeling hateful to this girl. I snap "Well, be like that!" and run away.

* * *

An hour of cuts and lots of guilt later, we are all standing by the van, Jasper doing a head count. "Okay, so we have thirteen of you. So... Three of you sit at the back... KT, Rosalee and Mara. Then the pairs are Fabian and Nina, Jerome and Amber, Mick and Eddie, Patricia and Joy, Alfie and Willow."

Jasper clearly doesn't want to be around anyone else. He shows us all to our assigned seats and gives us tickets, then walks off to sit on his own in the front. I notice that he's got an empty seat next to him and I know he wishes that he had Trudy next to him. I stand by what I said. For him, talking about Trudy didn't release him from the agony of losing her when he'd just got her back, it just made it real for him. Even though I don't know him well, I can still see how much he's hurting and how much strength it takes to hold that away from everyone else. He copes with it like Trudy used to, without the self-harm. He hides it behind a smiling mask and a lot of jokes. And while I don't know him and I pity him, I admire his strength, determination and loyalty to the one he loves. I sit back and reach in my bag for my earbuds. Just as my fingers close on the wire, I feel a strong, slim hand on my wrist. I begin to recognise it after a split second's confusion. "Jerome, what are you doing?"

He's staring at my arm. He pulls my sleeve up and stares in utter horror at my wrist. "You, too?"

I look at him in confusion. "Me, too, what?"

"You're trying to follow Trudy?"

I gasp, pull my arm free and hiss "No! I don't need to follow her to know that she's okay. This isn't a subject I want to discuss, okay?"

"Well, no, not really. Amber, this is dangerous! Trudy did this and you know where she is!"

"I do. And I plan to get her back."

"Amber, she's _dead_! The dead don't come back!"

I laugh in his face. "Anyone would think you'd never seen all what you've seen. She's been revived by Rufus and his cohort. They're keeping her prisoner. And I plan to get her and everyone else out of this mess alive."

* * *

And that's this chapter. Let me know what you think in a review and stay tuned!

Song quote of the day: _We're bored to death in heaven/ And down alone in hell/ We only want to be ourselves_ ~ Fallen Angels, Black Veil Brides.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	20. Chapter 20

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

I think I fall asleep on the journey to the airport, because I wake to Jerome shaking me. "Come on, Sleeping Beauty, let's move!"

I groan and get up. We leave the van and go. Apparently, our luggage has already been taken. I genuinely don't trust air travel, but whatever. I just hope this goes well. We're boarded quickly and yet again, there is an empty seat next to Jasper and the window. He's imagining Trudy. It's so sad. I'm sat next to Jerome again and he's quiet. I hear Joy shout "Spider!" and everyone panics.

I roll my eyes, but say nothing until Nina screams "Kill it!"

I stand up and let out a loud scream. Everyone shuts up, then I say "Leave it alone! That spider's probably more scared of you than you are of it! And haven't we had enough of death and destruction? It's harmless, just one little spider. It's a living being and you're just being ridiculous. Sit down, shut up and let it be!"

Everyone is silent for a moment, then they all sit, staring at me, wide-eyed. I walk over to the window and let the spider crawl onto my hand. Thank Sibuna for preventing my fear of spiders. It's happy to crawl onto me and I feel, for the first time since Trudy died, I feel loved. I know it's a spider and probably isn't going to live long, but I feel sure that it's happy and grateful that someone saved its life. I know that if I was an innocent little spider, I would. I keep it with me for the whole journey, pleased that something loves me enough to stay. Jerome looks at it and asks "Why are you keeping that thing alive? It's gross."

"Hey, no. Don't be rude. This spider is a living thing. I happen to like it. Can you be nice, please?"

"Amber, it's a bug. Just crush it."

I glare at him. "No! Have some respect! How would you like it if someone decided to crush you? It's not doing any harm and imagine what this little thing does for our planet."

"Yeah, it's gross. Give it here, I'll kill it."

"You will _not_! Mine! I'm keeping this little thing safe until we land. Then I will set it free and hope it has a good life."

I feel proud of my spider and I actually kind of like it. I see its eight eyes and smile. It's kind of cute. A fly buzzes in front of me and my spider snatches it, bites it and holds it, looking up at me. Jerome said "Ew."

I roll my eyes at him and smile at my spider. "Did you catch that? Aren't you clever?"

My spider looks so proud of itself. Jerome asks "Are you seriously not defending the fly?"

"Well, yes, but I'm so proud of this little cutie. Look! It catches its own food!"

"Next you'll tell me you're a vegan."

I was, actually. Nobody but Trudy had known that and she'd substituted meat for vegetarian alternatives and got me almond milk and made me no-egg biscuits. I miss her so much. At least she'd have been proud of me for sticking up for my spider. She was always a firm believer in rights for everything alive. "Shut up or be nice, Jerome."

***Trudy's POV***

I was bored of being tickled. I leaned back against my weird table thing and suddenly felt a hot, wet leak. Thicker than water, so no, I didn't wet myself. Not like that. I waited for a few seconds, then... Again. Oh, God. I'm here with a guy! I _cannot_ be bleeding now! Oh, my God. "Um, you two don't happen to have pads, do you?"

"What do you mean? Pads for what?"

"Pads for feminine bleeding."

He looked at me. "What in God's name are those?"

"They're sanitary pads! Soak up blood! And at this rate, I'll need fresh kni-"

"Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, shut up! Is it that five-days-of-non-stop-screaming-moaning-and-ice-cream-eating thing?"

"Yes! And there is blood! A lot of it! Ugh! Nope!"

***Rufus's POV***

Oh, that is disgusting! She's freaking out and I'm here alone with her! What do you do when she claims she's bleeding? I need a woman's help! Ugh! And why is she groaning? "What do I do?"

"Get pads, clean knickers and a small bag, then let me into the bathroom with the equipment! Ohh... This is painful!"

"Oh, well, if it hurts, I'm going to leave you here."

She twisted, then groaned again. A thin trickle of red made its way down her leg and I felt sick. "I really, really hate this!"

"How bad is it?"

"Honestly? Like there's a mini alien inside me pulverising every bit of flesh it can reach! This is not nice! I need to change and get some pads!"

Ew, she's bleeding! Yuck! What am I supposed to do with this? I don't know what she needs!

***Jasper's POV***

I hope my poor, precious, beautiful Trudy is okay. Today would have been the first of five torturous days for her and I hope that they're treating that poor beauty nicely. "Jasper, we need help!" I hear Jerome shout at me.

I turn and say "I know that, but unfortunately, I'm not a therapist."

"Hilarious, Jasper. No, Amber has this spider and she won't crush it."

I sigh and say "Let her keep it. There's already been too much death and destruction around here and you're not helping by killing. It's just a harmless spider. Leave it alone."

I return to my thoughts of my beloved Trudy. I hope she's alright. Suddenly, the plane gives a jolt and we're all thrown forward. A tannoy says "Please remain calm. The plane is experiencing some turbulence."

* * *

And that's this chapter. Let me know what you think in a review and stay tuned!

Song quote of the day: _Where, where will we stand/ When all the lights go out/ Across these city streets/ Where were you when/ All of the embers fell/ I still remember them/ Covered in ash/ Covered in glass/ Covered in all my friends/ I still think/ Of the bombs they built._

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	21. Chapter 21: Filler

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

*Amber's POV*

I can't stand being in turbulence. I've only ever been caught in turbulence once and it's taken me six years just to consider flying again. I feel my chest tighten and start to hurt, my heart beating irregularly and my breathing begins to get out of control again. Oh, no. I feel my body warm then chill and I know it's another panic attack. And for the first time in a long time I actually am in danger. And... Oh, no. If something bad happens to us, Trudy's never going to return! I gasp loudly and Jerome tries to put the oxygen mask on my face. I squeal, but it comes out a strangled gargle and Jasper rushes over. I feel awful, then, because he knows that Trudy used to panic like this and it can't be easy for him. "Amber? Jerome, what are you doing?"

"She was breathing weirdly, I thought it was an asthma attack!" Jerome exclaims, sounding scared.

Jasper says "It's a panic attack. Amber?"

I gasp again, unable to speak. Nina runs over. "What's the matter with her?"

There's a crowd gathering now and my chest constricts. No... Jasper says "Okay, everyone, back to your seats, let me sort this out. Amber, look at me." I do and he says "Breathe in deeply through your nose."

I do, inhaling deeply, scared silly. Jerome asks "What are you talking about?"

Jasper silences him with a sharp look, then softly says "Breathe out through your mouth. Keep doing that." I obey his orders, but he sits by me and holds my hand, watching me intently. He seems so protective of me. Honouring his promise to Trudy, no doubt.

There's a shatter of glass and a groan of pain behind me. It's Eddie and his hand is bleeding. I see the blood and it's not the deep scarlet I'm used to. His blood is a glowing, electric blue.

* * *

This was just a filler. The next chapter will be up tomorrow. Let me know what you think in a review and stay tuned!

Song quote of the day: _Young hearts are foolish/ They make such mistakes/ They're much too eager/ To give their love away. Well I have been foolish/ Too many times/ Now I'm determined/ I'm gonna get it right._ ~Fairground Attraction, Perfect.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	22. Chapter 22

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Well, here's your next chapter! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

*Amber's POV*

His blood's blue! I want to be sick, but something tells me that it'll only scare everyone. Jasper's noticed and I see the manic worry and excitement in his eyes. "Eddie? What's happening?"

Eddie shrugs, looking pale in the glow of his blood. "I don't know. It's not usually blue."

Jerome casually adds "There's something wrong if his blood's blue."

I punch his arm and Fabian asks "Do you think you could possibly have the Blood of Osiris, Eddie?"

Eddie shrugs and Fabian gets out a container. He catches Eddie's blood in the jar and stoppers it. The blood glows bright blue and stays that way. Just as Fabian pockets it, a stewardess comes over to where Jasper's crouched beside me and stiffly declares "Sir, you must return to your seat."

Jasper looks up at her and says, with a coldness that I only ever associated with an insulted Trudy, "Ma'am, with all due respect, I promised to look after these kids and this young lady had a panic attack. I won't let her go through that alone. I'll go back to my seat when I know she's okay."

She looks at him in surprise, then goes back to her stiff attitude and tells him, through gritted teeth "It's the rules of flying on this airline. You must go back to your seat. The girl will be alright."

Jasper gives her the most awful look and I can see now that she's annoying him. "I'd sooner see that for myself, thanks."

He gives her a look that plainly tells her to clear off, but she's having none of it. "Sir, I will ask you once more before I get the captain. Please move back to your seat."

Jasper's annoyed now and I say "It'll be okay now, Jasper."

He glares at the woman. "If she has another panic attack, you can shove your rules where the sun doesn't shine, lady. These kids are my responsibility and I won't have them suffering because of you and your fussy little airline rules. Chances are, you'll be dead from old age before this plane lands."

My eyes widen in shock as he brushes past her, clearly ready to kill. She struts past me, muttering "Rude passengers... Should just leave... Don't get enough pay..."

How dare she? I genuinely hope she falls down and snaps her ankle in those stupid heels! I'd love to see how she feels when people ignore her problems and obey her 'rules'. There was no need to be so rude. As I think these violent thoughts, the plane jolts and that awful woman falls. I hear a loud crack and she screams in pain. I look around and see that she's clutching her ankle... And... And... _Her foot's twisted!_

* * *

Hope this was good enough. And was that just coincidence or has Amber got powers she never knew about? Let me know what you think in a review and stay tuned!

Song quote of the day: _When tomorrow comes/ I'll be on my own/ Feeling frightened of/ The things that I don't know/When tomorrow comes._ ~Flashlight, Jessie J.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	23. Chapter 23

(I own only plot.)

A/N: Surprise! An early chapter! Enjoy. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

***Trudy's POV***

I've finally been given a change of clothes, a packet of pads and a trip to the bathroom. I thank heaven for a female captor, I really do. If it'd been left to him, I'd be here drowning in my blood. I hear them talking outside my cell and he says "I think we're being too soft with her. She's not crying. She's only bleeding due to nature. She's being fed decently and we're giving her trips to the toilet whenever she asks. We're being too good to her."

"We're not supposed to hurt her yet. We will kill her when we have what we need. And you can draw it out. But for now, we will be nice. I, personally, don't like screaming and crying and blood everywhere. Be nice. She's innocent. We only need her because your former employee likes her. He'll do anything for her safety. She's our little blackmail chip. Just a few more days and you can kill her," the woman says soothingly.

I shudder slightly. I died once and it was unpleasant. I don't want to do it again. The man says "I just don't like having to give her whatever she asks for. She asks to use the toilet, she's allowed to go. She asks for clean clothes, she gets them. A shower? She gets it. Asks for food and water, she gets it. She asks us for a walk around the room, she gets it and she's allowed to have a window opened when she asks. We're too soft with her."

The woman sighs. "She's a mortal woman. She needs those things like we don't. Surely you remember needing three meals every day and lots of water to keep you hydrated? Needing the toilet and having to exercise and breathe clean air rather than carbon monoxide? She needs to keep clean, women are fussy about that. We're not being soft. She's kept under lock and key and you know it. She's only allowed a shower a day. One change of clothes unless she bleeds through. She's just a human being. It's not soft to give her what she needs. We're not feeding her ice cream and setting her free. We're not nice. Let her feel good, she's only got a few days left."

I feel a sudden anger from somewhere and I hear my darling Amber's voice in my mind shouting "_How dare she! I genuinely hope she falls down and snaps her ankle in those stupid heels! __I'd love to see how she feels when people ignore her problems and obey her 'rules.' There was no need to be so rude._"

I send my hopes to her, wishing that this rude lady gets what she deserves. I can't let anyone treat my darling children like that! Just then, the woman who sympathises with me comes in and asks "What are you so scared of?"

I blurt out "Someone's being awful to my Amber. She wants this woman to fall and snap her ankle. I want whatever hurts my children to suffer three times worse for it."

She smirks. "Revenge, you say? So be it. Finally, I get to hurt someone!"

She turns her head to the heavens and I feel some shock and surprise. "What did you do?"

"I just sent a turbulence wave at the plane. Your boyfriend and the students you love so much are safe. Can't say much for that stewardess, though."

I can't help it. I smile at her and say "Thank you. You're incredible."

"I try. You, however, I need to talk to. What do you know about the Elixir of Immortality?"

I blink in confusion. "I don't, I'm afraid. I only know elixirs that I buy in the pharmacy. What is it?"

She sighs and the man comes in. "Don't waste your breath. This one's clueless. Honestly. She barely even knows her own name. A two hour old baby knows more than she does."

That was offensive. "I'm not completely stupid. I do know things. Just... Not the things you want to know."

He gives me a sarcastically sweet smile and his tone drips sarcasm and hatred as he coos "Of course you know things, you ugly little thing."

I gasp in anger. "Do you have to insult my intelligence and my looks? Some people class me as intelligent and pretty!"

Some people being Jasper. I can't understand that man. The woman says "Be nice. We want her to feel good about it here."

Says the same woman who wishes me dead again. The man laughs. "Oh, come on. There's nice and then there's plain lying to her. She's as thick as three tons of solid concrete and as pretty as a rotten and mutilated corpse."

I feel tears prickling the back of my eyes and will myself not to cry. It only hurts because it's so possible that he's right. And until now, it'd always seemed like I could be smart and pretty. But now, I'm not as sure of that. He could be right and unfortunately, I think he is. The woman glares at him and snarls "Do you know what insulting a woman does to her? It destroys her self-esteem and makes her feel worthless! She may be our prisoner, she may be our blackmail chip, but she is a human being and she can feel! She got enough of that in her first life! Don't make it worse for her now! She'll try it in the shower if you keep that up!"

He rolls his eyes at her and says "Oh, bravo, sisterhood. Look, I don't care about her. I just want her dead. And preferably not as ugly. But death isn't a miracle worker."

"And you have first-hand experience. You're not exactly a gorgeous god, either. Look, you don't understand how much damage insulting this woman will do. She'll stop eating and drinking and then where will we be? We cannot have her kill herself again. And you will be kind to her. Or the consequences will be more dire than her fate."

I feel terror and gratitude toward this woman and I know it's wrong. She wants me dead and yet, she's defending me. I don't understand why. It's so possible that he's right. He laughs in her face, then says "Like I'm scared of you. She's an ugly idiot and that's an end on it."

I wait until he's left before allowing one tear to fall. She turns to me and sees it. She softly says "He's just annoyed. He doesn't mean to hurt you. I think he fancies you secretly. Don't cry." She wipes the tear from my cheek, then whispers "You're not going to die horribly, you know. I won't allow it to hurt you as much as it did the first time. Women stick together."

She lets me be. I lie back and close my eyes, feeling the warm tears sliding down my cheeks. It's hours before they return now, I know. It always is. I think it over and realise that what he said is true. I really don't have the brains to do the simplest things, like work a laptop or a touchscreen. Even microwaves are a struggle. I feel the tears on my cheeks as I close my eyes. I whisper "Good night, Jasper, my love. Well done on looking after the kids. Thank you. And good night to you, my darling children. Sweet dreams," then I fall asleep, crying silently.

***Amber's POV***

I watch as the stewardess struggles. Nobody helps her, just as I'd hoped. She pulls herself up and drags herself out. I feel proud and like it was Trudy who sent us that blast of turbulence. I owe her so much. I smile to myself as she limps out. I fall asleep quickly enough after that.

* * *

I wake to Jerome shaking me. I find my little spider nestled up to me and smile. I scoop it up and carry it off the plane with me. We've arrived in Egypt and the place is beautiful. Jasper points us to a minivan that we all clamber into. I keep my spider, though. Jasper drives us to the hotel and checks us in. I'm told I'm rooming with Nina and Rosalee. I take my bags and my spider to the room, where I see a gargoyle outside the window. I make a quick beeline for it and dump my bags on the bed. I take my spider and open the window. I softly say "Here, sweetie. You wanted to see Egypt. Now's your chance. Go and enjoy the world, darling. You deserve the pleasure."

It scuttles onto the gargoyle, then touches my hand with its front legs, before giving me a sweet look, all eight eyes widened, then scuttling off. I feel a tear fall as I watch the little guy run. I liked him. Rosalee smiles at me and says "Amber, you're awesome."

I look at her in shock. "How am I awesome?"

"You just saved a spider and you set it free. You're brilliant."

I smile at Rosalee. She may be mysterious, but I like her a lot. Then I see the picture.

* * *

Hope this was good enough. And updates are on Fridays, I just wanted to get this out. Let me know what you think in a review and stay tuned!

Song quote of the day: _Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams/ Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before/ Close your eyes/ Let your spirit start to soar/ And you'll live as you never lived before. ~_Gerard Butler, Music Of The Night, from the Phantom Of The Opera.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	24. Chapter 24

(I own only plot.)

A/N: And chapter 24! Enjoy. Thank you to all my reviewers for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are Amber's thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

***Amber's POV***

I pick it up and Rosalee yells "No!"

I freeze. It's a picture of a tiny newborn baby and two people holding the little thing. "Rosalee, please, please, please tell me this is Photoshopped," I beg, hoping it is.

She looks horrified. "You weren't supposed to see that. Please give it back."

Nina sees it over my shoulder as Rosalee makes a grab for it. "Rosalee... Are these your parents?"

Rosalee nods and swallows. "Uh huh. My parents, on the day I was born."

I look at the picture and ask "So... What?"

"I don't know. Mum always told me that if it wasn't for you, Jasper, Nina, Jerome, Patricia, Fabian and Eddie, I wouldn't exist. She told me I should be proud to be alive and that I should never wish I hadn't been born... Though when she gets her hands on me, I really will anyway."

I look down at the smiling faces of these two proud parents and the innocent face of a newborn Rosalee. Nina says "Your parents look so happy."

Rosalee nods. "They were. Dad didn't think Mum would make it through. And Mum said that she believes that she was lucky, because she wasn't supposed to ever have children."

I nod too, then sigh. I love kids. Nobody else knows, but that has been my lifelong dream. I want to be a fashion designer and have a nice husband, a big house and a baby or two. But I'm not a good designer, I'm not attractive, I'm not a good babysitter. I couldn't do any of that.

* * *

I lie in bed that night, looking at my scrapbook. I have a design for the wedding dress I would wear if the miracle occurred. I have a design for the dress I'd wear just after my fictional baby's birth. The dress I'd wear at his or her christening. I decide that, if she makes it out alive, I will make these dresses for Trudy. Only, all except the wedding dress will be gifts rather than occasion dresses. I love that wedding dress. And I bet Trudy would look beautiful in that christening dress.* I'd chosen a light blue with a glittery top and floaty skirt. I chose to make matching blue heels and small, heart-shaped blue earrings. There was a blue pendant and a blue bracelet. I could imagine her wearing that and looking ten times as good in it as I would.

***Jasper's POV***

I sit on my sofa, thinking of my Trudy. I look into the blue vial Fabian gave me earlier and say "Darling Trudy, I will not let them hurt you, I promise. You are my priority. I love you."

I just wish I'd been more subtle with her. I wish I had been. None of this would have happened if I'd been decent enough to leave her alone. She'd be happy, she'd be here, alive and beautiful for everyone else. My precious angel, I will rescue her. And nothing can ever stand in my way. I won't let anything stand in my way.

* * *

* -Link to dress on profile.

Hope this was good enough. I want to come up with a name for you all, because you're all so wonderful. Let me know what you think of chapter and any ideas for what I could call you in a review and stay tuned!

Song quote of the day: _Wrong or right/ Black or white/ If I close my eyes/ It's all the same._ ~All The Same, by Sick Puppies.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	25. Chapter 25: EARLY UPDATE YAY!

(I own only plot.)

A/N: And new chapter! Enjoy. Thank you to all my reviewers for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

***Jasper's POV***

I wake up in my bed in the hotel. I wake feeling as if the world is okay, I'm on another job trip, I'll be back with my darling Trudy in just a few days, then the reality hits. It hurts all over again as I realise that the woman I love has been resurrected by the two people I hate most in the world and she's being held captive and that's the reason I'm here. I wish I could just bury myself in the sand and let it all go away. "Jasper, come on, we don't have much time!"

I receive a text message on my phone, saying "_Hurry. You have forty eight hours to gather the items. Or your precious female dies. R."_

I honestly want to kill that man again. How dare he hurt my angel! I meet the kids in the hall, giving each of them a neon pink or green wristband so I know which ones are the ones I need to look after. When I have them all, I say "Okay, kids, you need to keep your wristbands on at all times, because this is a big city and I don't want you getting lost."

Patricia asks "How will these work? If we get lost, you won't be able to see them, will you?"

"Hey, smart mouth, if you'd cared to listen on, I'd have told you that there is a mobile number in there for you to give to a police officer if you did get lost. That way, you'd be picked up and given another wristband. And, if you think that those wristbands won't work for high visibility, I brought T-shirts to match," I tell her, giving her the look that clearly tells her that being smart with me will earn her one of the shirts. "Would you like that?"

She shuts up, which provides me with a good laugh for later. As if I'd thought to bring neon shirts! I suppose this is why Trudy liked taking these kids out so much. Now, she really would have neon shirts. Or shellsuits... Another reason to love her, in all her adorable paranoia. "So, um, where's the restaurant?" Joy asks me.

"Glad you asked. Come on, kids."

***Amber's POV***

I follow Jasper and the others down for breakfast. Nina sees my outfit and says "You look very chic today. Going for a minimal look?"

"This is just what I found first. But thanks."

I walk beside her, feeling kind of lost. I shouldn't feel so isolated because she was my best friend. I wish I could say that she still is, but Nina has a life of her own. I am stuck in my own little bubble, never progressing, never needed. I wish I could be like Trudy, strong, brave and so unique, so completely irreplaceable. She should be here, cuddling with Jasper, maybe with a tiny child or two. That would be beautiful... "Amber!"

I jump and see Alfie staring at me. "What?" I ask, shocked.

"Keep up!"

I run and try not to think of the one person who showed me love when nobody else would. I focus on staying with my housemates. Jasper asks "Okay, kids, what's on your minds for breakfast?"

"Pancakes!" rings out, but I don't fancy anything.

I think Jasper notices that I haven't spoken, because he looks at me and asks "Amber, what are you having?"

"I'll just have toast, thanks, Jasper."

He nods at me and I see the pain he feels when he sees me, like he blames me for Trudy's death. He's not the only one who blames me. I do, too. She was so kind, so sensitive and I was the one who knew that she missed him a lot and had wanted to marry him and I told him to come for her and essentially overwhelmed and killed her. Nina grabs my hands under the table and I realise that I have been scratching my wrists. Oh, God. "Amber, what's up?" she asks, her voice soft.

"Nothing, Nina. Honestly, I was just a bit itchy."

Not true at all. I wish I could feel more than just this hollow, empty feeling. I look around. My friends are talking, laughing and joking. I wish I could be like that. But I can't. I'm focusing on Trudy, on Jasper, their happiness... Rosalee and how she says that her mother tells her that if it hadn't been for us, she wouldn't be alive and Rosalee wouldn't exist... Is it safe to believe that her parents are...?

***Trudy's POV***

"I just want to go _home_!" I wail, sobbing my heart out. Why can't I just go home? Why can't I sleep in Jasper's arms? Why can't I hug the kids? Why can't I go out and see the sunlight? "I miss my kids! I miss Victor! I miss Jasper! Why won't you let me go home? I need my cuddles! I miss snuggling with Jasper!"

The man groans at me. "Look, as cute as your little homesick, lovey-dovey thing is, you're not going back."

"But why?" I wail, sobbing.

"Because we need you here! We've already had this conversation!"

"I need my Jasper!"

He finally just stands up and slaps me. "Just shut up, will you? Nobody cares whether you want him or not! It doesn't matter what you want! You're only here for a short time anyway! Nobody cares about you! Just shut up! We're sick of you and it's hard not to slowly murder you as it is! If you think, for one minute, I care about you or your stupid, senseless wishes, you're deluded! I don't care! Nobody does! You're a fat, useless lump!"

I gasp. Nobody had been so rude since I was twenty... And anyway, what's so bad about wanting to go home? I ask "Don't you have a special woman or man in your life? A child or two?"

"No. Why would I want them? And don't try that soft I-Know-What-You're-Going-Through tactic, you stupid female, I'm not the idiot around here. You're never going to see them again. That's final. And if you try to pull the kind trick on me, I will punch your lights out," he snaps, glaring at me. Oh, if looks could kill!

"I was only asking. Isn't there anything I can do to earn my freedom?"

He punches me in the face. "No, you ugly brat, there is not!" he yells at me, while I wish I could stem the flow of blood from my lip.

"Nothing at all?"

He punches me in the stomach, three times, effectively knocking the wind out of me, then he punches me in the face, blackening my eye and cheekbone. "What part of no? Just shut up, you ugly witch and forget you ever knew them! You're going to die again, anyway!"

"Why bother resurrecting me, then?" I gasp out, hurting and still unable to breathe.

"Because you mean so much to your fiance and he'll do anything to look at your hideous face again! God knows why, you're not exactly the prettiest flower in the garden."

"Not now, I'm not! And even in this state, I'm still a prettier sight than you are."

He laughs and slaps me across the face. "You're not pretty at all. You make a colony of diseased slugs look like a beautiful sunset. You're worse than ugly, you pathetic waste of space. Do you truly think that anyone, even Jasper, would have you?"

I flop a little and it hits me that he's right. I know he's just saying it to be mean, but he's right. I'm not pretty. I never was, never will be. "Why not just kill me now?" I ask, miserably.

"Because you are our ticket to immortality. Now shut up. I don't want to hear your annoying, squeaky voice or your pathetic, childish sobs again."

He smacks me across my face again, then leaves me in the darkness to cry in silence. "Jasper, where are you?"

I cry myself to sleep again, longing for the strength and warmth that I'd always feel from my beloved Jasper.

* * *

Hope this was good enough. I've been thinking and I wonder, what do you think of calling you my magpies? I'm superstitious and I believe magpies are lucky and I feel lucky to have you all. Let me know what you think of the chapter in a review and stay tuned!

Song quote of the day: _Now don't lose your fight, kid/ It only takes a little push/ To pull on through/ With so much left to do/ You'll be missing out/ And we'll be missing you._ ~Missing You, All Time Low

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	26. Chapter 26

(I own only plot.)

A/N: And new chapter! Enjoy. Thank you to all my magpies for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

***Amber's POV*****  
**

I sit and stare into space as the coach drives us to the pyramids. Jasper has a pass, he knows what he's doing. I miss having Trudy. For the millionth time today, I sit and sink my nails into my palm. I wish I could find and save Trudy. I need her back. Jasper needs her. Everyone does. Not having her is like not having oxygen. "Amber, would you stop?" Jerome asks, dragging me out of my shadowed thoughts.

"Stop what?"

"Thinking! The smoke's getting to me!"

I don't understand why, but I punch him. I just see red and before I know it, I've punched him in the face. I've bruised his cheek bone. Oh, God. Unluckily, Mara's seen it and she yells "Jasper, Amber's punched Jerome!"

I give her a look that I wish could kill her. Jasper, unluckily, has chosen today to be annoyed at everything and he isn't having it. He gets up and grabs my arm. For someone so nice, usually, he's really strong and violent when he's in a mood. He drags me to sit down at the front with him and almost dislocates my arm in the process. But instead of complaining, I stay mute. I understand his annoyance and know it isn't directed at me. As everyone gets back to what they were doing, he murmurs "Amber, why did you do that?"

"I wish I could tell you why, but I don't even know myself."

He sighs and softly says "It's okay to tell me why. What brought it on?"

"I was thinking... And he told me to stop it because the smoke was getting to him... And I saw red... I honestly didn't mean to do it."

I'm genuinely ashamed of myself. I really wish I could be in Trudy's place now. If anyone deserves what she's being put through, it's me. At least there's nobody alive today who loves me. She's got people who love and miss her. Jasper's still really quiet as he says "I understand, Amber."

I nod quietly. I feel like such a disappointment. I'm a worthless human being. I've let Trudy down, I've let Jasper down, I've punched one of the only people who showed the slightest bit of concern for me and I've really humiliated myself. I wish I was dead... "Thanks, Jasper. And I'll apologise to Jerome as soon as the coach stops."

He nods at me and I notice that his thoughts are on Trudy again. His voice is unusually thick as he asks "Is your arm alright? You're holding it at an odd angle."

I nod, even though it hurts and it's swelling a little. "It's fine."

He seems to know I'm lying and I curse the powers that be that he's trained, just like Trudy was, in the way of spotting a lie. He says "I'm going to ask you that again. And if you don't tell me the truth, we are going to turn this coach around, go back to the hotel and we are going to discuss what lying about health and safety can do. Is it okay?"

"No, but I can handle it."

He sighs and says "Okay, we've got a medic at the site. We'll get it checked out and patched up."

As he looks away, I check it. It's swollen up, at an odd angle, just like he said and it's purple now. Great, that's all I need. It's broken. I sigh softly and look out of the window. I guess I earned it. It's not like he hurt me intentionally, but still. I wonder if he'd ever do this if we somehow manage to get Trudy back alive...

* * *

I wait until we reach the pyramids and everyone's getting off the coach before I try anything. By the time the coach stops, I'm feeling terrible for what I did and I realise too late that I've gripped my broken arm and I'm shaking it, jarring it. It hurts when I realise I'm doing it, but I'm so done with everything that I don't care any more. I jar it once more in the empty coach and squeak as there's a horrific crunch and my skin splits, two sharp pieces of bone sticking out. I gasp, seeing the blood and the world darkening and spinning in front of me. I start to feel very sick and dizzy and my head feels like my skull's contracting onto my brain. I squeak as I shakily stand and crash into every seat and pole and window on the way out. I don't make it to the door, though, before I fall to my knees with a thud that dully resonates through my head and the world blackens. I hear a small, faint, masculine voice shout "Amber!" before I faint entirely.

I wake to someone stroking my hair out of my eyes. I get my eyes to open and a copper-haired woman comes into view. "She's waking up. Amber, honey?"

I see her better as my eyes focus. "Who are you?"

"Hey, sweetie, I'm Jessica. I'm a friend of Jasper's. Listen, do you remember what happened to you?"

"I got really dizzy and I fell... Nothing else much," I tell her, feeling really sick. I can't move my arm and I realise it's been plastered up.

"Well, honey, when you fell, your arm broke more and the bones became really sharp and tore through your skin. It sent you into shock and you tried to get help, then fainted. How do you feel?"

"Sick. Really sick."

Jessica gently lifts me and puts a bucket in front of me. Jasper comes in and sees me being supported, then asks "Are you okay? Ish?" I give him a sideways look that sends him backtracking. "Okay, stupid question. Forget I asked that. Do you want anything to eat?"

Jessica looks at me expectantly. I manage "No, thanks," before I'm violently sick into the bucket. _(Denying food, wisest move you've ever made, Millington, you fat blonde dummy.)_

"Okay, then. Well, Ade's taking them around the pyramid now," Jasper says, looking at me with pity.

I get one last heave, then flop weakly onto my pillows. I shut out the world again, wishing the darkness would swallow what little life force I have left and leave my useless, broken shell of a body behind. _(The world willl be better without you, Millington.)_

* * *

Hope this was good enough. Let me know what you think!

Song quote of the day: _I know this pain/ Why do you lock yourself up in these chains/ No one can change your life except for you/ Don't ever let anyone step all over you/ Is it really fair/ To feel this way inside?_ ~Hold On, Wilson Phillips.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	27. Chapter 27

(I own only plot.)

A/N: And new chapter! Enjoy. Thank you to all my magpies for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

***Amber's POV*****  
**

It's dark when I open my eyes again. I'm in the hotel and Patricia's watching me. I murmur "Hello?" and expect no response, as it looks like she's sleeping.

She does react, though and softly asks "Amber? Did you say something?"

"Yeah. What time is it?"

I see a tiny red light and notice her watch. "It's three fifteen. You've been out for more than twelve hours now. Jasper's thinking of calling the hospital."

"Where is he? Did you guys get anything in the pyramid?"

"He's getting us coffee. I'll text him to tell him you're up." Dodging the question.

I smile at her. "If I give him the money, could you ask him to get me a coffee too? I miss coffee."

Patricia smirks at that and coolly says "You're starting to sound like Trudy now. And yeah, I'll ask him."

I'm grateful when he arrives, three coffees and several packs of sesame bars. "Patricia, I don't understand what you meant by Amber slash Trudy-bot."

I glare at her, but she's laughing. "That's because she came out with this polite request for coffee that sounded so much like Trudy's way of speaking that it was like she'd become Trudy. It was so weird. So, the Amber slash Trudy-bot."

Jasper sounds like he's laughing as he passes us both coffee. I sit up and look closely. My eyes have adjusted quite well and I see him smile. The smile still shows his hurt, but I know he's actually amused. I ask again "Have you found anything in the pyramid?"

Proudly, Jasper grins and says "Show her, she deserves to know."

I look eagerly and see a small, beautiful metallic silver feather with an emerald tip. "Oh, wow... That is gorgeous!"

Patricia smiles proudly. "We were thrilled when Joy came back with this."

As we all sit grinning and admiring the feather, Nina rushes in and gasps "Have any of you seen Rosalee?"

"Isn't she in her bed?" Jasper asks and I see the panic in his expression.

"No, we woke up to a flash of blue light and when our eyes adjusted, her bed was empty!"

We all share a terrified look and Patricia asks "Didn't she leave a note?"

"No, she left an arrow toward Mara's suitcase, though."

We all freeze as the realisation hits us.

* * *

Hope this was good enough. Let me know what you think! And to everyone out there: Good vibes heading your way!

Song quote of the day: _Who walks among the/ Famous living dead/ Drowns all the boys and girls/ Inside your bed/ And if you could talk to me/ Tell me if it's so/ That all the good girls go/ To heaven/ Well, heaven knows._ ~This Is How I Disappear, My Chemical Romance.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	28. Chapter 28

(I own only plot.)

A/N: And new chapter! Enjoy. Thank you to all my magpies for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

***Amber's POV*****  
**

I try to follow as Jasper, Patricia and Nina leave, but I'm gently pushed back by Patricia. "No, Amber. You need to rest."

"Let me go. I am not sitting here and waiting about. Get off," I snap, pushing her hands away.

"Amber, you're to rest. Nina, Patricia, come on," Jasper orders.

_(As **if** I'm going to take **that** lying down!__)_ I get up and follow them. I hide away just to see them helping Mara search her belongings. "What did she say before she left?" I hear Jasper ask, clearly panicked, checking his register.

"Just that she knew the golden water..." Mara replies, then adds "Whatever that means."

"Do you have any golden liquids?" Nina asks, scared and intrigued. Typical Nina.

Jasper's phone buzzes, there's a click and... "Oh, God. We need to get back to England. Now."

"Amber's not mobile yet, we can't-" Jerome starts, but I hear a rushing sound as Jasper gets up.

"We are going! Amber will be fine! We are going! Now!"

I'm kind of scared now, because Jasper doesn't shout like that. I dart back to the bed and pretend to have been there this whole time. I curl up and wish myself back. I don't want to be here, I want to be with Trudy again. She loves me, she'd protect me. I need her. Why couldn't it be me? She doesn't deserve to be tortured. And in the company of Rufus and Senkhara, torture is what's happening to her. Joy shakes me. "Come on, Jasper's decided to up and out. We have to go! Help Nina get your things! We're leaving!"

It's obvious that this trip was not for Joy. She's not much of a fan of international travel. I get up, ready for anything. I rush to help Nina pack my belongings, which are so few it takes mere minutes to get everything into my bag. I've given up on everything painful and unnecessary. I help everyone else pack their belongings, my hands like lightning. I just want to go home. I want to go home... I want Trudy, I want warm hugs, I want her to smile and be proud. But she would never be proud of me. She's going to hate me. _(Shut up, you worthless idiot! You are so pathetic. Fancy, thinking of yourself when a kind, wonderful woman is in danger and has so many loving people to adore her. She's got a fiancee and a future. **You** don't. **You're** just a selfish brat, thinking that you're important while the one person who gave you the time of day is suffering. You deserve the torture she's getting. Why couldn't it have been you?)_ Yes, why couldn't it? What have I done? I'm the useless one in this group. "Hey, Amber, is this yours?"

I look around and see Fabian holding up a white and pink lacy bra. He's blushing and feel terrible. "Yes, thanks," I smile at him and catch the tiny garment as he throws it at me, among laughter from the guys.

I decide that enough is enough, just as Patricia shouts "Listen, you lot, it's just a bra! It's a piece of clothing! Stop acting like three year olds and act like the men you're two years away from legally being!"

I smile slightly at the shocked and thoroughly scolded looks on their faces. Mara drops her calligraphy kit and it bursts open on the floor. "Oh, no!" she exclaims and I rush to help. She helps me rearrange it and I spot a golden ink bottle, shimmering and metallic.

"This is pretty," I comment quietly, not sure I should.

She relieves me, smiling at me. "Thanks. It's a bit of a mystery. It didn't come with the set and we've never managed to get the lid off."

"How long has this kit been in your family?" I ask tentatively, unsure of whether or not I'm supposed to ask.

She shrugs. "I don't know. My great grandma had it from being tiny and gran said that her mother's great grandma's great grandma gave it to her when she was eleven. So... I don't really know."

I shrug too, then ask "Where does it go?"

"Keep it. Who knows, maybe you'll get it open."

I smile and say "Thank you, Mara. It's lovely."

I wonder if there's something special about this when it glows a little and black writing appears on the bottle. **_You may need this one day, Elizabeth. Don't let this golden water fall into the wrong hands. Love always, Great-Grandmother Victoria._**

* * *

Hope this was good enough. Let me know what you think! And to everyone out there: Good vibes heading your way!

Song quote of the day: _Couldn't take the blame/ Sick with shame/ Must be exhausting/ To lose your own game/ Selfishly hated/ No wonder you're jaded/ You can't play the victim this time/ And you're too late._ ~Call Me When You're Sober, Evanescence.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	29. Chapter 29

(I own only plot.)

A/N: And new chapter! Enjoy. Thank you to all my magpies for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.**

***Amber's POV*****  
**

As I study this strange message, someone tears it from my grasp. It's Fabian and he's staring at it in shock. "What?"

"Mara said I could have it," I say, like a little girl. I curse my whiny voice, knowing that all it does is annoy everyone.

He quietly hisses "You realise that this could be the golden water, right? And that if it is, we could save Trudy?"

"I know that, but I just wanted to see if it opened first."

"Are you crazy? You ought to give it to Jasper, he knows about this sort of stuff."

I glance over Fabian's shoulder, ignoring the metaphorical smoke from his ears. Jasper's busy making sure everything's been packed. "I will. Just leave him be for now, there's enough stress as it is and that text-"

"How did you know about the text? He never told you," Fabian cuts me off and I mentally facepalm myself.

"Yeah, never mind that. Look, we just need to get back home. Then we can argue and yell and discuss whatever happened here _when we have Trudy safely home_!"

He snaps "You are going to talk now!"

"I will not! And you will leave me alone, Fabian Rutter, or I will personally see to it that Nina finds out all about your little _fun and games_ this summer with your pretty cheerleader neighbour behind her back!"

"I wasn't cheating her!"

"That is _not_ what my camera told me! And cameras don't lie! _Especially_ not this one, because this one is from the nineteen sixties with _no Photoshopping available!_"

Jasper steps in and smacks our heads together. "Shut up and get on with your packing, the pair of you!" he shouted, looking almost insane. Neither of us dared to disobey him, not when he was so angry. Then he spots the ink. "What's that?"

Fabian hands it over, looking genuinely terrified. I suppose if _he's_ scared of Jasper's fury, then I should be, too. God, what would it be like if ever he got in a mood with Trudy? No, Amber, don't. Don't think like that. "Mara gave it to Amber and said that she can't get it open."

Jasper mouths something, reading words on the cap that I hadn't previously noticed. I'm so grateful when we've checked out and are on the plane back to England.

* * *

_**One long flight later** _

* * *

We're all exhausted now, even having slept on our plane. It hasn't been good for any of us, this trip. I've been sat alone, against Jasper's orders. Why would I sit with anyone here? Nina's mad at Fabian, Fabian's mad at me for telling Nina about the whole summer thing, and everyone else is mad at me for ruining the relationship that they'd all been edging together for months. I'm back to square one: Being the outcast everyone hates. Yay for me. I sit in a corner, alone for the coach ride to the graveyard, where our poor Trudy's grave was. At the grave, we see a figure. The figure looks up and I'm momentarily stunned as the figure runs to us. It screams, in an accent I just about recognise, "Jasper! Oh, sweetie! You've no idea how glad I am to see you!"

He smiles sadly, knowing this woman, who is now hugging him tightly. "Hey, Gina. What are you doing here?"

"I was just bringing some myrtle flowers. Trudy loved them when she was..." Gina, whoever she is, bursts into tears.

I gather that she's some relation to Trudy, by the way Jasper hugs her. "It's okay. Honestly. She'd appreciate every minute of it. It'll be okay."

"I know. Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie, crying on you like this."

"It's okay, truly. She's your sister, of course you're going to cry."

I'm so sorry for them all, truly. I can't stand to see their pain. Trudy's sister sobs "It's not okay. She got such a hard time, all of her life, the poor darling."

"She's at peace now. She's okay. She wouldn't want to think that she'd hurt you. She'd come back from the dead if she knew she'd hurt you."

Gina lies the flowers on Trudy's grave and says, her voice cracking and breaking, "I would have been honoured to have you for a brother-in-law."

"And you would have been a wonderful sister-in-law. Thank you, Gina. Is your husband waiting for you?"

"Him and the kiddies. I'd better run. I'll see you soon."

Jasper waits until she's out of earshot. Only Fabian, Jerome, Patricia, Eddie, Jasper, Nina and I have come to the grave, ready to see if we can save our Trudy. We all stand on the grave, close together with the gifts. we place them all on the grave. Seconds tick by and we're swallowed by a massive green glow and we're sucked into darkness.

* * *

Hope this was good enough. Let me know what you think! And to everyone out there: Good vibes heading your way!

Song quote of the day: _Summer has come and passed/ The innocent can never last/ Wake me up/ When September ends. _~Wake Me Up When September Ends, Green Day

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	30. Chapter 30

(I own only plot.)

A/N: And new chapter! Enjoy. Thank you to all my magpies for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes and threat. This is T for a reason.**

***Amber's POV*****  
**

I gasp as we all land, hard, on a stone floor. I hear the others groan and look up. We're in a dark, stone room. The green glow is gone. A soft, warm, familiar voice, one that reminds me of home and cookies and hugs, gasps dryly "What on earth? Leave, quickly, it's dangerous!"

We look across the stone room for what seems like the millionth time. To me, at least. I see my poor, sweet housemother, restrained and crying, desperate to be free. I call out, hurting for her "We're here, Trudy!"

She gasps at my voice and calls back, her voice dry "Run! All of you! It isn't safe here, now run!"

"Not without you!" I hear Jasper snap, somewhere to my right. He sounds determined.

"Honey, they've mined the floor! You can't get over here without killing yourself and the kids!" Trudy tells him, looking more worried now, but I can't tell whether it's for herself, for us or for Jasper.

He stares at the floor for a second before dodging neatly around the horrible mines. He gets to Trudy and hugs her, regardless of the tight straps holding her still. "You poor little thing. How long were you held here?"

"I have no idea. I was writing to Amber when I materialised here, totally solid. What are you even doing here? I can't allow any of you to die for me. I'm not even supposed to be alive now."

"To be perfectly honest, darling, I don't care. You are alive now. And it's more than I'd ever dared to hope for. We're here to get you out, alive and well."

I can't watch as he kisses her, knowing that this mission, if all goes wrong, will cause him emotional trauma that's way worse than the trauma he experienced after her suicide. I hear Jerome speak up and say "Look, while your little reunion is disgusting and cute, I want to get her out and get us all out before they come in to get the stuff!"

The kiss at the other end of the room breaks and I look to Jasper and Trudy, who are so happy to be together again, I can hardly force out the words "Look, Jerome's right. We need to move!"

Jasper breaks out of his trance and says "They're right, love. How do we get you out of this?"

"I don't know. There's a control panel, but it's out of my reach. They use it to torture me when they want something."

"Whereabouts is it, Trudy?"

"Over there, where the kiddies are."

Jasper shouts over "Kids, find the release switch!"

After four point two seconds, Patricia loudly asks "Why is there never a big red button when you need one?"

Humour, clever, not appropriate right now! Fabian pulls a switch and Trudy gasps in pain. I hear Jasper's yell of "Turn it off, it's hurting her!" and push it back. She gasps in relief and I hear Jasper softly say "It's okay now, love."

It's Eddie who finds the switch. He tugs it and the clamps release Trudy. She gasps, before she falls onto Jasper. He barely expects it and they fall to the floor, laughing. Instead of letting her up, Jasper insists on hugging her. "Not the time, you two!" I shout.

"Of course!" Trudy shouts back, then gets up, assisting Jasper to his feet. "How do we get back over there?"

Jasper picks her up, making her giggle. "Allow me to carry you."

She laughs and he dodges the mines again, her giggling lightly, clinging to him. I guess this is what love is. When you can go through death and resurrection and travel halfway around the world and back just to see each other. I smile at them as they reach us. Trudy looks considerably well-cared-for, clean and happy. She grins at us, her arm linked with Jasper's. "Well, look at you lot, eh? My gorgeous kids! Jasper, have you had something to do with them being healthy?"

"Not really. Victor and Vera have cared for them. I was too busy missing you."

She shakes her head fondly. "You're so silly, my love." She kisses everyone, looking like a mother who hasn't seen her kids in months, then looks to me and gently asks "Have you been okay, darling?"

I nod, not wanting to scare her now, not after we've just got her back. But we're clearly not out of the woods yet. She smiles at me, then Patricia asks "Who kidnapped you?"

"Oh, I don't know them. A man and a woman. Two total crazies."

A man's voice behind us says "Two total crazies who will shoot you if you don't step away."

We turn and see, standing opposite us and glaring daggers at Trudy, the one and only fruit loop, Rufus Zeno. Jasper says, his voice cold "You leave my princess and her darlings alone."

"Ah, Jasper, good to see you again. Now, hand the woman over and nobody dies."

Jasper glared at him and pushed Trudy behind him. "Touch her and I will come over there and shove that gun so far up your rear that you'll shoot bullets out of your mouth every time you pass gas."

"How touching. You have three seconds, Trudy, before I shoot your fiance."

Jasper holds her still. She whispers "Let me. I don't want you to get hurt."

"No."

Rufus pulls the trigger and I jump in front of Jasper, hearing Trudy's scream before there's a sharp pain as the bullet enters my body.

* * *

Hope this was good enough. Let me know what you think! And to everyone out there: Good vibes heading your way!

Song quote of the day: _I hate the ending myself/ But it started with an alright scene/It was the roar of the crowd that gave me heartache to sing/ It was a lie when they smiled and said "You won't feel a thing"/ And as we ran from the cops/ We laughed so hard it would sting._ ~Disenchanted, My Chemical Romance.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	31. Chapter 31

(I own only plot.)

A/N: And new chapter! Enjoy. Thank you to all my magpies for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Dark themes and threat. This is T for a reason.**

***Trudy's POV***

I scream as my precious little Amber takes the bullet. Oh, God! She begins to bleed as she hits the floor. I rush to her and scream at my male captor "You're a heartless monster!"

"She got in the way."

"You should consider where you point that thing! God, man, she's a kid!" I scream, tears starting to flood down my cheeks as I sit next to my poor baby. I stroke the locks of blonde curls off her ghostly white face. "Amber, darling, can you hear me?"

"Trudy?"

Her voice is so weak. I sob "Darling, please hold on, we're going to help you."

"No, Trudy. Just... Get yourself, Jasper and the others out. I've taken enough of biology to know what the bullet's hit. I just don't want you to be upset. You never deserved any of this."

I sob harder as she speaks, then say "Amber, darling, don't talk like that. You're going to live. You have to."

"I can't do it, Trudy... Just make sure you're happy."

"Amber, please, baby girl, don't. You're going to live. You have to live, sweetie."

"I can't." I could see the light in her beautiful blue eyes fading as she gasped "You're like a mother to me. You deserve to be happy. I love you and thank you."

"Baby girl, no..." I sob as the life fades and her porcelain face stays still. I sob ever harder as I clutch my little Amber to me. She didn't deserve that... Oh, my God, my baby... "Someone help her!"

Jasper kneels next to me and kisses my head. "Sweetest, we can't help her."

The man at the opposite end of the room laughs carelessly and mocks my accent cruelly. "Oh my precious baby, why?"

I growl through my tears "You killed one of my babies!"

"Shall we make it two?"

I skipped over mines, snatched his gun and hissed "Yeah, how about we do, huh? How about I shoot you? What waste of a life would it be if _you_ died? Amber had a future! You don't!"

He smirks and glances down at the gun, then looks into my eyes and asks "Do _you_ have a future, princess?"

"I don't know. I have Jasper, I have the kids, I have Victor, I have Vera and, hey, check this out, I have a gun!"

"Well, so you do, but you won't use it."

I raise my eyebrow. "I'm angry. You killed one of my kids. I have a gun and a taste for revenge. You're evil, twisted and sadistic. You thought it was funny to torture me, huh? You think it's funny to kill teenagers? Yeah, no. I will use this and shoot you so hard that you're still pooping bullets in whatever horrific afterlife Satan gives you!"

He laughs at me and that sends me over the edge. I pull the trigger as Jasper screams "No, Trudy!" and I feel satisfied as the bullet goes through the evil man's skull. Nobody deserved that more than him.

That's when the reality hits. Because I pulled that trigger, I'm no better than he was. I'm a cold-blooded killer. Oh, my God. I'd said that I don't deserve love before, but now I truly know what it means. I drop the gun on a mine, which explodes instantly, sending me flying into a wall. Thank God. I hear Jasper come running over the path in avoidance to the mines and picks me up. I shake violently and whisper "No, put me back."

"Darling, come on. We're getting out of here."

"Just take the kids and Amber's body and go. Leave me here to rot."

"No. You're coming home."

The woman arrives and I hear Eddie shout in a foreign language. She vanishes with a scream and Jasper carries me over to the kids. I'm sobbing, shaking and wishing that I'd never let him pull that trigger to kill Amber. There's a glow of green and we're in the graveyard. Only this time, the gravestone reads _Amber Millington_ with her birth and death dates, a message about her... Oh, my God, the grave has become hers! I collapse on the floor, longing to be her. I sob "Amber... My little girl!"

Jasper picks me up and holds me tightly. "Darling Trudy... She wouldn't want you to cry. She often wished it was her instead of you. She wanted to take your place."

"But she's dead! Oh, God, this is all my fault!" I wail, sobbing, the pain in my chest so real. Everything she'd had going and that awful man killed her... I don't know whether I should be pleased that I got rid of him or destroyed because I've stooped to his level. My beautiful, bubbly Amber... What kind of mother am I? Amber... That lovely girl... She just gave her life for Jasper and all because I had to kill myself in the first place!

Jasper kisses me and whispers "It's not your fault, darling, it was Rufus's fault, he pulled that trigger. You did what any mother would do."

I don't want this love right now. I love him, of course I do, but right now, I want to be next to Amber. I want to save her. My beautiful little girl... Is this what true loss feels like? She was so young... She deserved so much better... I sob again. "She deserved so much better, Jasper. Why didn't I just go to Rufus? You all could have got out alive."

"No. Don't think like that. He would have killed you."

"HE KILLED AMBER!" I scream at him, making the kids take a step back and Jasper drop me. I scramble away from him and sob "He killed one of my kids! Do you seriously think that my life means anything to me when the people I love are at stake? I wanted to go to him to save everyone else!"

Jasper grabs me again and shakes me. "You're talking rubbish, Trudy!"

I don't know what caused me to do this, but I punch him in the face and scream "It is not rubbish! My kid is dead! How is it rubbish to wish that I'd just given myself up to protect my loved ones? You were about to sell your life for mine!"

"That wouldn't have been a waste, because it would have saved you! That's all that matters to me now!"

"So I'd have lost Amber and you? You're insane!"

He grabs me and throws me over his shoulder and carries me back to the car. He keeps me there while everyone else gets in. He straps me in and locks the doors, gets into the car and drives us all back to Anubis. My little baby's dead in the cemetery, I've killed someone, punched the man I love in the face and now I'm trapped. I try my best not to cry and am ignored by everyone. It's not surprising. Jasper now has a black eye from my punch and I catch sight of it, feeling the guilt tear into my heart. I don't deserve him.

* * *

Back in Anubis, I hide in my room, crying on my bed. I hate feeling so sad. I see the stack of letters my precious Amber once wrote and cry as I read through them, imagining that soft little hand writing. I'd known that girl since I met her when she was a little girl and I'd watched her growing up. I collapse onto my pillows, crying my eyes out. The door opens and Jasper walks in. "Trudy?"

"Not now..."

He slowly makes his way over, quietly, as though not trying to disturb me. "Darling, I know this hurts you. But please, my lovely angel, try to think of what she'd say."

I sob and shift closer to the wall. He lies down and wraps me in his arms. I sob "Why are you trying to comfort me?"

"Because you're hurting and I don't know what's going on in your pretty little head, but I know I hate to see you hurting in any way."

"Well, here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that a horrible man shot Amber and killed her. I'm thinking that I killed him and am now even less worthy of love than I was. I'm thinking that I took all of that out on you and blacked your eye. I'm thinking that it's all my fault because I stupidly overreacted and killed myself in the first place. And now I know how Rory Williams and Jack Harkness feel, because even when they die, they don't die."

"Well, my angel, you're right about most of it. The things you got wrong are that it's your fault and that you're unworthy of love. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know this was going to happen. And you deserve love now more than ever. You did what any rational woman would when someone hurts a child she loves. If you hadn't, I would have. You're still my beautiful Trudy, no matter what else happens. I love you."

"I love you, too." After a few minutes of heavy silence, I ask quietly "Were there any other women?"

"What do you mean?"

"While I was in that coffin and in the torture chamber. Did you get another girlfriend?"

"No. I was too busy being miserable because I didn't have you."

I nestle into his hold. At least I still have him.

* * *

Six months later

* * *

Confetti lands all over Jasper and me as we try to escape the church, laughing. I pull a bit of confetti from his hair and ask "Are you trying out for fancy dress?"

He laughs too and kisses me gently. "You're the one in the dress, princess."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a blonde girl in a blue dress. She looks just like my lovely Amber. She shouts "Congratulations!" and vanishes.

I feel like crying all over again. Jasper sees and he kisses the tears away, as he has for the last six months, then says "I suppose there's no use in telling you just how perfect you really are."

"None at all."

He smiles at me and I know that my Amber is at peace and I will end up with a very happy life.

* * *

Oh, my God... Last chapter... *Sobs* Hope this was good enough. I'm thinking of an epilogue, if you'd like. Let me know what you think! And to everyone out there: Good vibes heading your way!

Song quote of the day: _When you're gone/ The pieces of my heart/ Are missing you/ When you're gone/ The face I came to know/ Is missing too/ When you're gone/ The words I need to/ Hear to always get me through/ The day and make it okay/ I miss you._ ~When You're Gone, Avril Lavigne.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


	32. Epilogue

(I own only plot.)

A/N: And new chapter! Enjoy. Thank you to all my magpies for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics _(italics) _are thoughts.)

**Trigger warning: Mentions of death.**

***Third Person POV***

It's been two years since the wedding and everyone who once resided in Anubis house is in a hospital waiting room, agitated and excited and scared all in one. They're waiting for news on the newest addition to their family. Fabian looks to Nina and asks "Is it supposed to take so long?"

Nina smiles at her husband and says "I think that's what they're thinking."

"Yeah, but it's Trudy, she's not exactly a kid."

"She'll be fine. And I'd be worried if she was."

As they speak, a doctor pokes his head around the door and is instantly asked "What's happened?" by a very scared Fabian.

"It's all over."

Willow, holding a three month old baby boy, asks "Are they all okay?"

"They most certainly are."

Alfie asks "Is it a boy or a girl?"

The doctor smiles and says "I think I should leave that up to the parents."

* * *

Trudy is leaning against her husband, her eyes closed. She's thinking back again, wishing that Amber was still with them. Jasper softly whispers "Penny for your thoughts."

"Just wishing that there was some way Amber could still be with us. She'd love to have met our little princess."

Jasper sighs and kisses Trudy's forehead, holding her gently. He looks at their newborn daughter, smiling slightly. _(You're going to become such a beautiful woman, just like your mother.)_ "She's with us in spirit."

Trudy nods, her eyes opening enough to see her friends and former students walk in with hushed footsteps. She beams at them, pleased to see them. Her smile gets wider as they smile back. "Hello, darlings," she says quietly, her tone almost glittering.

"Hey!" comes the happy exclamation, which only serves to make the newborn turn her head and open her eyes. "Congratulations!"

The newborn gives each person a calculating look, wondering if she could get food from them. Eventually, she turns back to her parents and squeaks, giving her mother a searching look. Jasper looks at his wife and softly whispers "I think our tiny princess wants her mother's attention."

Trudy smiles at him, then looks down at her newborn child. "Hello, sweetie. What do you want?"

The baby blinked, her hunger forgotten, due to the fact that she was enjoying her mother's attention. Fabian asked "What's her name, then?"

Jasper looked to his wife, who had no idea of the events leading up to her rescue, then nudged her to speak. She happily chirped "We've decided to call her Rosalee!"

* * *

Oh, my God... It's over... *Sobs* Hope this was good enough. For a sequel, what would you like to see? And to everyone out there: Good vibes heading your way!

Song quote of the day: _It's the state of bliss/ You think you're dreaming/It's the happiness inside/ That you're feeling/It's so beautiful/ It makes you want to cry._ ~Innocence, Avril Lavigne.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx


End file.
